Monday, June 21, 2010

You're gonna love this!

Don't you just hate when your finger hits return and you post a post that wasn't meant to be? Sorry about that! Anyway on to the real matter at hand!

After a long 4 hour drive on Saturday our kids came home. They came barreling in the door so fast that they about knocked me over. I grabbed the banister as fast as I could and then we all hugged, no one wanting to be the first to let go! We had a nice visit with my in-laws before it was time for them to head back on the road and return home. Sunday rolled around and Jim was on call yet again. He felt sad he couldn't spend Father's Day with us, but assured us that having us see a movie would make him happy. The kids and I decided to see Toy Story 3. I hate that I can't drive so my husband had to drop us off. I usually sit in the back of the Suburban because its easier for me to put my foot up. As I was getting out, I felt a little bit like a kid with my parent dropping my friends and I off at the movies, especially when he said he would be back at 6:30.

So, we were standing in line waiting for the movie to start seating, when the usher kid comes up and says that I can go first because "I'm handicapped". I said, "excuse me?" He of course was all of 16, so having to talk to an adult was hell for him! He said, "well because of and he pointed at my cast and my crutches, I was considered handicapped and I should go to the front and go in the movie first. Of course by that time everyone is looking at me and the kiddos and I said, "well I'm not handicapped and I can wait in line like everyone else!" Ugh! As if! We get into the theatre and I position myself almost to the back and put my foot on the chair in front of me. I did ask the people behind me if having my foot up was going to bother them and they were cool about it! The movie starts filling up quickly and some people come to our row and ask if they can get in. I said, "sure, but did you pee first, cuz nobody leaves once they sit down!" Ha Ha! The kids were a little mortified but the people laughed. Hey, it's not that easy to get up with this cast, especially in a dark theatre.

The movie starts playing and the theatre is packed. The kids seemed to enjoy it as I did. Don't worry I won't spoil it for anyone. All of a sudden, the guy across the aisle starts snoring very loudly. One of his kids hits him to wake him up and his popcorn goes flying. Lots of shushing from his other child and his wife says, "What are you doing sleeping?" I loved it! So as the movie continues and we get towards the end I will admit, I shed a few tears! Go see the movie and you will understand.

I assume that my face might be a little splotchy, so I reach in for my lip gloss, I mean doesn't lip gloss fix everything? The movie ends and the kids jump up because they need to go to the bathroom. I yell to stay together. I wait until the swarms of people leave and get up and hobble out. I walk down the hall, say excuse me to some and hello to others that I know. Seriously just wait, the funny part is coming, I promise! As I stand outside the bathroom waiting for the kids I see more familiar faces and I do the smile thing across the room, because they are too far away to actually say hi. The kids come out and we head outside to wait for Jim to come.

All of a sudden Claire realized she left her purse inside. She starts crying because she thinks its gone forever. I said ok, calm down lets go back in. We head in and ask the same 16 year old usher who is already terrified of me, if we can go back in and find her purse, I wasn't rude I promise! I wait while the kids run in. We start heading out the door and I say hi to yet another person I know. Why can't I go anywhere without running into a few people? Jim happens to be pulled up to the curb and I could see that he was frantically trying to hit something in the car and finally the windows come down and he says, "Are you ok, whats the matter with you?" I look at him like he is crazy and said nothing, why? He says, "are you sick what's the matter with your lips?"

I get in and he puts the mirror down and I look at my lips and they are pale and chalky, I look sickly. I knew I felt ok but I had no idea what was on my lips. I frantically start wiping it off at the same time looking at both kids and say "thanks kids, did you not even see that there was something on my face? They are so clueless sometimes. It then hits me that when I was in the theatre I put my lip gloss on right? No, that would have been too easy! Apparently I grabbed my concealer and applied that to my lips. I have a concealer and lip gloss that are the same size so its an easy mistake. A mistake that is now a mortifying one! I remember putting it on and really rubbing it around my lips.

So basically I looked ghostly and sickly and that I had no clue as to how to pick a lip gloss. And being the smiling talkative person I am, I just strolled out saying hi to everyone. As I look back on it, I did get some odd looks and even a few sympathetic ones. Maybe that's why the usher was scared, he thought I was foaming at the mouth! I must have scared him shit less! Ah, never a dull moment in my life. I can't wait until I see all the people I said hi to. I wonder if anyone will say anything!

Happy Monday!


Tayebug said...

Hilarious! I can even imagine what it must have looked like. I wonder if people thought you were taking the "pale lip" a bit too far. haha

Those are the fun moments you will look back on though. Bet you're glad to have your kids home.

My Blessed Serendipity Life said...

It is so nice that you can take an awkward situation and just laugh about it! Who knows, maybe you will start a new "lipgloss" trend. ;)

Lynette said...

Thanks for the laugh this morning lol!

We saw Toy Story this weekend too, and I got a little teary eyed at the end as well. Although I didn't try to put concealor on my lips ;)

Lisa said...

Oh my gosh. I actually laughed out loud. I have almost done that right in front of my mirror. I've also almost put lipstick on under my eyes.

Marydon said...

LOL! You are a trip! girlie ... I can just picture you, truly.

Have a beau-TEA-ful week.
TTFN ~ Hugs, Marydon

Janna said...

hahahahahahaha - totally something I would do! Now I have to write a post telling how to scare away your pool guy. It's kind of like your story.

Diana Mieczan said...

hahahhaha..That is totally something I would do too:)..Thanks for this fun story:)
Kisses and Happy First Day of Summer, sweetie

♥ Calamity Anne ♥ said...

Thanks for the laugh!!!

Ms. Bake-it said...

OMG!!! I needed that laugh! I cannot even begin to imagine what your friends and acquaintances thought when they saw you!

~ Tracy

Val said...

That is so awesome!! I was in need of a good laugh!! Thanks. lol

Amanda @ Serenity Now said...

I'm laughing with you, with you!! ;)

Becolorful said...

Haha. Still laughing. I love you. You were a hot mess for sure. :) Combined with the cast and crutches it had to be quite the vision.
Pam :)

Low Tide High Style said...

OMG too funny, and so something I would do! I can't go anywhere without seeing people I know either!

Kat :)

Stef said...

That is HILARIOUS! Thanks for the laugh. I love hearing others' stories like that - makes me feel better when I have my own moments. :)

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