Saturday, June 12, 2010

I had to walk out!

Now before you get any wrong ideas about who or what I walked out on, it most certainly wasn't my sweet hubby! I walked out of a movie! I have only walked out on one movie before in my life and that was Jackie Brown. Does anyone out there remember that movie? It was none other than Quentin Tarantino's freakish mind that was the creator behind this 1997 film. If you cannot tell already I am not a fan of his!

The story follows the main character, played by Pam Grier, a middle-aged African-American flight attendant who delivers gun money to some dealer. She then gets caught up in a brouhaha of murder, extortion and greed. Apparently there was like five hundred thousand dollars on the line. I guess the screenplay was based on Elmore Leonard's novel "Rum Punch!" Quentin Tarantino adapted the story to fit the "blaxploitation" genre.

Blaxploitation is a film genre that emerged in the United States in the early 1970s when many exploitation films were made specifically (and perhaps exclusively) for an audience of urban black people; the word itself is a portmanteau of the words "black" and "exploitation." Blaxploitation films were the first to feature soundtracks of funk and soul music. These films starred primarily black actors.[1] Variety magazine credited Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song with the invention of the blaxploitation genre. Others argue that the Hollywood-financed film Shaft is closer to being blaxploitation, and thus is more likely to have begun the genre.[2]

Leonard was even an executive producer for the film. I have no idea how the movie ended because with all the N and F bombs dropped, I couldn't handle it and had to leave! I'm sure I wasn't quiet when I left. I was just so turned off and offended by this film I felt the need to let others know!

Don't bother clicking, you can't!

I even read that there is a Jackie Brown prequel in the works. No, say this isn't true? This prequel is from yet another Elmore Leonard novel called "The Switch". Well, this is one I won't be seeing, that's for sure!

Ok, on to the movie I walked out on. Drum roll please? Actually it needs no introduction, really!

Last night my hubby and I went on a date to see the move "Splice". We usually take turns on who picks the movie, so I knew I had to see whatever he picked! I hadn't even seen a preview so I really had no idea what was in store for me! Now I should have realized, when there were only 5 other people in the theatre on a Friday night, that should have given me some indication as to how the movie would be, right?

"Warning", spoilers are coming, so if you wish to see for yourself how awful this movie is, do not continue to read!

The movie starts with two Genetic engineers played by (Adrien Brody) who is known as Clive
and (Sarah Polley) who is known as Elsa.

They specialize in "splicing" together DNA from different animals to make a crossbreed creature. After they successfully do that, or so they thought, because that ended up in a blood bath with blood shooting out into the audience. No, it wasn't in 3-D, but maybe that would have made it more exciting! They thought they could then try their hand at combining human DNA with DNA from other animals. Elsa wanted to basically cure the world of cancer and thought this was the only way. Apparently the pharmaceutical company was no longer interested in funding this endeavor, so Elsa and Clive went on to do it in secret.

The result of doing their own secret experiment, which almost kills Elsa, is
Dren, which is Nerd spelled backwards!

The creature is on the left. Sorry for the small picture but if you look closely you will see a hairless bunny like creature with bird legs!

And this is what the creature grows into. A girl with chicken legs and wings! Wish you could see them!

Clive goes on to realize that Dren is really a part of Elsa. She is the human DNA used for this experience. He was furious but at the same time, a little excited! Can you say Yuck with a capital Y? Not that I wasn't already uncomfortable enough but when he started kissing the creature and then decided to have sex with her was when I rather loudly said, "Oh you've got to be kidding me?" Jim said, "Shhhh"! I of course couldn't and then proceeded to get up and said, "Oh I'm outta here!"

Look at the similarities between Dren and Brittany Spears. Creepy!

Well, that's it folks, we left never to know how it ends or frankly even care. I did have a nightmare about all the noises she was making when they were making it!

Ahhhhhhh, enough already! I want it all erased from my memory! Please whatever you do, even if its on t.v., don't ruin your brain cells with this crap. I am almost embarrassed for Adrien Brody for thinking this would be a wise choice for his career. In fact, if I were a betting kind of gal, I would say this might even ruin it! I sure hope he fires his manager and publicists and doesn't just jump into the next movie he's offered without thinking!

I think it might be a perfect time for me to crack open my Mother's Day gift, my Miller Lite!

Happy Saturday!


Nancy said...

We rarely go to movies, but that one sure wouldn't appeal to me! I can see why you walked.


*The Beautiful Life* said...

WOW! Though I was never going to see this anyway, I'm so glad you said what you did!!! You GO GIRL!!!

I'm with you -- what passes for "entertainment" anymore makes me sick to my stomach. I truly fear the generation(s) being raised on this bottom-of-the-barrel junk. Their sensibilities must be all but annihilated.

Give me a great playlist and a cup of coffee (and a great magazine) and I'm set. Thanks for making a statement in the theatre. Would that more would have that kind of good sense and and guts. WOO!!!



Anonymous said...

We don't go to movies but maybe once a year, don't rent them either. Hollywood is so messed up and I don't like to support them. I love to go to plays but only do that about every 10 years!

I do want to however see Blindside as I hear that is excellent.

P.S. Hope you are feeling better!

middle child said...

Ok. I'm just thinking about Dren and the guy having sex and the three legs,....and where's the,um,....are there two or,....Girl, I am going to have freaky dreams tonight!

♥ Calamity Anne ♥ said...

Thanks for the heads up...even though I haven't even heard of it until now. Funny comparison to B. Spears! Also, I can't say I've ever walked out of a movie before, though I have come close!

Janna said...

is there anything worse than paying $10 and squandering 2 hrs of your life on a crappy movie?

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

We go to lots of movies, but think I will skip this one...

Tayebug said...

Was never going to see this one, and now I know why.....sounds ridiculous!

Whenever I go see a movie at the theater, it is always a children's movie with my daughter and they're usually pretty good.

Diana Mieczan said...

Oh no!!! I am not going to see that one...Balazs and I love going for movies but ...this one..I am not sure...
Kisses my sweetie and see you soon:)

Farmgirl Paints said...

Thanks for the heads up. We've walked out on a few movies...should have on many more. You go girl!

Karyn said...

I just cannot watch any violent movie anymore , maybe he should learn to use the word fragglerock !
Seriously where are we headed when on a weekly basis the cinemas are screening up to 10 movies & most of the time they are violent. I used to be able to go to the movies once a week & now its once a month when the one non violent movie is being screened.
Am I the minority ?
Karyn x

Jeanne said...

So glad you gave the heads up on this one Megan. I haven't seen Jackie Brown either. Mr. H loves shootem up films and I don't. I have to take it in small doses...I happily ordered a dozen new english classics for our movie files. Thank god for two TV's in the house!!

Hope your foot is mending well...


Anonymous said...

I loved Splice...thought it was great creepy b-movie fun. Your tastes seem to run a little soccer-mom'ish so it's no surprise you didn't like it. You should stick to rom-coms.

The Zhush said...

HA...then I am most certainly proud to be a soccer mom! Would never have even walked IN on this movie, frankly, and my artistic tastes run no where near to the "right"!

Stephanie said...

Sweetie, you'll need ALL of the miller lite to get over that! Thanks for the warning!

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