Friday, July 29, 2011

Spiders Behaving Badly!

If you thought you'd seen it all, this will get you ROFL!

A friend had posted this on FB and I just couldn't resist sharing!

Please turn music off at the bottom far right before playing!

Enjoy the Day!

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Things I know Thursday!

~ I think my sole purpose on this earth is to let the dog out and then back in again, about 725 times a day!

~ Despite what the Vet says and her condescending tone, bunnies do need to live outside and not in my kitchen!

~ When your husband says his gym bag smells like someone else's ass take his word for it and just throw it out, don't reach your hand in. It's never a good thing!

~ That "No" is a word both animals and kids can't seem to comprehend!

~ We are soon to be free of T.V. Yes we have canceled all television in my house starting Aug. 3! Bye Bye Disney, Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network! You will not have a hold on my children anymore!

~ I've started my countdown to the 1st day of school! Actually that started the day after school got out!

~ I'll be 40 on August 20th and I believe my 40's will be better than my 30's!

~ Weight Watcher's is the best non-diet out there. Proof is that I've lost 44 pounds since April and I feel great!

~ 7 Year old girls who freak out and change their outfits multiple times, and then have their mother pull out of the driveway only to turn right back around and go home to change again is insane! She might not make it to 8 if this keeps happening!

~ A Rainy day means I don't have to go to the pool! Yes! Yipee! Whoo, Hoo!

~ I think kids go to bed at night so we can like them again in the morning!

~ Periods happen! So when you tell you husband, "Let's get it on!" Buddy, get it on will you! Did I not tell you it was coming?

~ Kids don't like to bathe in the Summer. They say the pool water helps rinse them! So, do I tell them what they are probably rinsing in? Tempting!

~ My kids would rather come with me to get the oil changed then stay home and watch t.v.. Dang, I can't even do boring stuff at 8:30 in the morning to be alone. I'm gonna set up for my pap and then for sure I can get privacy!

~ Just because they make a bikini in your size doesn't mean you should wear one, really please don't!

~ If your mother says, "Go outside and play!" Please don't feel the need to come knocking on our door! She means go Outside for a reason!

~ Why are there never any Police officers around when the person in front and behind you are swerving because they are texting!

~ Silent dog farts truly are deadly! Ooh, burning, eyes are burning!

Monday, July 25, 2011

My Pantry got a Makeover!

I finally did it! I got so sick of how disorganized my pantry was that I spent the other night and next day giving it a face lift!

Now before I open these doors I need to get my hardhat! There have been too many times that a few cans and boxes have tried to make a run for it and I've been knocked to the floor. So brace yourselves, its pretty bad in there!

As Jack Nicholson once said, "You can't handle the truth!"

Well. I warned you!

This is a pretty pathetic sight especially since the kids complain way to much that there is never anything to eat!

Now by no means can I ever top Shelly's pantry over at House of Smith's.

Come on, have you seen it? Amazing with a capital A! Didn't they do a great job? I am in love with that wall treatment!

So taking some inspiration from Shelly I took everything out of the cabinets and started planning it's demise. I mean re-awakening! I will spare you that bit of craziness and proceeded to make some sense of the chaos!

I was truly amazed at how many things had expired in there. I'm not sure anyone should have things from the year their daughter was born. Especially since she just had her 7th birthday, ya think?

I had already had a few baskets in that rubble but ran out to Jo Ann Fabrics and purchased some more baskets that were on sale for half price!

I got out my handy dandy labeler and started labeling each shelf and container accordingly!

Now I have a place for everything! A basket for chips, bread, snack bars, oatmeal, pasta, drink mixes etc.

Last night my jokester husband attempted to mess with my system and boy did he get it.

He re-arranged some of the cans and put them in the wrong places to see if I would notice. Well it didn't take long before I noticed things out of place and yes he got an earful! Don't mess with this pantry cleaning fool mister! It won't be pretty!

So I better not hear any crabbing that they can't find something or that there isn't anything to eat!

Friday, July 22, 2011

Tonight's Special: Fish and Shit!

I'm sure if you stopped over to our house any night this week, you would walk in to an overpowering smell of fish and yes even Shit! I'm not proud!

First off, the fish smell is not because my daughter's fish died while we were gone, lucky for me (yes, I"m being facetious) we still have fish! No the fish smell comes from my obsession with Salmon lately! That is pretty much the only meat I eat and the kids beg, plead and even offer to not fight, if I opt not to cook it! Sorry kiddos, you won't fight because I'm the Mama and if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

So on to the shit! When we got home from Branson we waited a day to pick up the pooches. They were staying out of town at a very nice farm where a guy has a kennel. I have a friend that takes her dog there so I knew it was good.
Now it is pretty much known to all around here that our dogs are freaks. So being around other dogs is very foreign to them. Did I mention we flunked puppy school? Well we most definitely did! I think all that socializing they teach in those classes didn't quite work for us!

In fact we were the only ones in the class to receive a
certificate of Participation! Thanks Val. I framed it! She wasn't even discreet about the certificate, oh no! She had to let the whole class know that Theo was a good sport but wasn't like the rest of the gang. Awesome, thanks, no really! I held my head up high and walked out saying, "Hey, we all have things we're good at and I'm ok with not having the dog training, animal loving, blue ribbon gene in me, because gosh darn it people like me! And maybe we just have a unique dog and all of your dogs are freaks!

This was kinda how Theo was in class!

I guess Theo was just a little shell shocked being away from home. Let's just say that poor Theo must have swallowed a lot of air while we were gone and didn't let it out until he got home. Once we had him home we noticed after a few times of going out to drop a few kids off at the pool, he came back in and had a little dirt on his skirt! I'll spare you that picture and show you one of him dozing off!

I happened to miss this glorious site at first and then noticed he managed to side swipe the couch! I screamed and immediately told my husband I was getting rid of him! I can't take it anymore! My husband didn't quite have the same reaction as I did. His reaction was more of on the defensive side and said, "no way are we getting rid of him!"

Geez it wasn't as if I said I was getting rid of one of his balls!

I'm pretty sure he would rather get rid of me then that dam dog! I swear in my next life I am going to be a lesbian! Now, I'm not really looking for offers here but what I'm saying is that if two gals saw a spot of pooh on the couch they would both shriek and say, "yep he has gotta go. No way are we having a house with a dog that craps!"

Am I right?

I am so buying these suckers for the dam dogs! And then I'm gonna put them on the rest of the family so I don't have to wash their "delicates"

And if you thought that was bad, now Jasmine has the same bug.

She makes us so proud to call her our boot scooter. Thank God she hits the potty pads!

Does anyone else out there deal with this Crap? Yes, pun intended!

Off to do some clean up! Someone better hide the phone or I'm calling the pound!

Oh, so glad to be home! Grrrrrrrrrr!

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Wally World of sorts!

Well folks, I've been absent for a few days and I thought I would tell you why. We decided to take a much needed va-ca and hit the highways. Boy, I feel we are more and more like the Griswold family when we travel. Well, minus the Aunt and the dog strapped to the bumper. Tempting as that may sound at times, I don't really have the heart. Now my kids, now that's something I might consider!

So where are we you ask? Well it isn't the real Wally World now is it? But let me just say it is a world all it's own! Boy howdy is it ever! And that world my friends would be none other than, wait for it, wait for it, ok it's

Silver Dollar City folks. Yup we are in Branson!

Ok, so all you Southern people who deal with this 105 degree temps on a regular basis are crazy if you ask me. We've all melted just from walking from the steps of our cabin to our car! Ok so we're pansies, I won't lie!

Last night we had dinner on a showboat. How lucky were we when we had front row seats. The kids loved it but I prayed I wouldn't be ushered up stage as the butt of the comedian's jokes. Sitting on the aisle in the front row is almost like open season for a comedian!

I wish I knew how to post pics with my I-Pad here but as I've said before I am far from computer geek as they get.

I can't wait to catch up with you all and get back into my blogging routine!

Until then, That's all folks!


Monday, July 4, 2011

Celebrate the 4th in Style!

Sometimes you need to make an entrance at your neighborhood barbecue or......

Show your Patriotic side at the parade.....

However you decide to spend your 4th just remember safety first and please whatever you do, don't do something like this!

Because it's stupid and will most definitely hurt! Enjoy your celebration!

No Phone Call Is Worth It!