It was eve of the millennium, 11 years ago today (at exactly 11:00 pm.) that we welcomed James into this world. Let me just say he has changed our world, upside down, sideways and even a little backwards but it's all been for the good, well most of it! As I sit here typing this, there are 4 screaming boys having a Nerf gun war in my basement. You see, we no longer celebrate New Year's Eve like other grown-ups do. I use to hate it but at the moment I can say I'm cool with it. It could be that the wine is kicking in and or that I've locked the door to the basement, muhahahaha! My husband has escaped with Claire to the movies, oh what a lucky guy he is!
So on to the birth! I was actually due on Christmas, so when Christmas came and went and no baby I prayed it wouldn't be much longer. I was feeling like a beached whale and I have the pictures to prove it. No, you won't be seeing any of those, ha ha ha! So, when the morning of the 31st came I woke up early. I guess I was starting to feel my motherly instincts because I knew the baby was going to come. I think it was about 4:00 a.m. that I woke my husband up. He flew out of bed asking if I was ok!
Jim was in residency back then so he had probably just climbed in when I woke him, the poor thing! I told him I was pretty sure my mucus plug had unleashed itself and if any of you have seen what a mucus plug is then you know you are either going to have a baby or quite possibly an alien!
I just gotta say wow, I can still still see it, like it was yesterday. It's just one of those things you don't ever forget! I remember when my sister in-law called thinking she had lost hers I laughed. She was due with her first child so she was clueless. When I described it to her, she was utterly and completely horrified that something of that nature could come out of you. I think at that point she was ok with keeping it in and the baby for that matter.
Back to my story! Once we got through the Minnesota snow to the hospital, we both breathed a sigh of relief that we made it there safely and that we would soon hold a little one in our arms. Wow, did that nurse know how to deflate our spirits. She said, "nope you aren't ready, go home and come back later! Later, we don't have later. Jim needed to have this baby or he had to get back to work, he wasn't going to get time off unless there was a reason. So we started thinking of what to do. We ended up driving around and went back to the hospital about 9:00 o'clock. By that time I was having a contraction so they had to admit me, right?
Well, they said no again. I think the whole Clinic was freaked out about the thought of the end of the world that people had taken off work or were out "sick" so they were way understaffed. They did not want me there unless I really needed to be there! The nurse suggested we get over to the mall and start walking to get this baby moving. So off to the mall we went.
This baby was starting off on the wrong foot. He was being a little too stubborn for our liking and wouldn't budge an inch. We walked and we walked and we walked and then finally contractions started. They started off slow and then I think it was on our 17th lap around the mall (we were really booking by that time. I think the regular mall walkers were getting upset with us. We were making them look bad) was when they finally kicked in. We would walk a few steps then stop and I'd have to lean and breathe against the wall. Then walk 2 more steps and then lean again. We eventually bumped into a few people we knew and man are some people clueless. They started to approach us and I had to shoot them daggers with my eyes letting them know I was not approachable. Jim was thinking that at any moment an exorcism would have to be performed right there in the mall. He was afraid of what those contractions were doing to me!
Let's just say that all that walking and maybe even a bean burrito did the trick. They admitted us into the hospital and we thought, whew smooth sailing from here on out! Ha, who were we kidding! Jump forward many hours and they sent two nurses home for getting stuck with needles and my doctor was no where to be seen. It had been a while since I was checked on so, yup that's where my husband jumps in. Jim put some gloves on because I said, "Holy Hell, its time, I have to push!"
Thank God for Jim and his training. When you have to push, there isn't anything that can stop you! I wasn't going to wait for Jim to find a nurse, I couldn't! After a while of pushing a nurse had walked by the room and then immediately came back in because she saw Jim hunched over and thought what, who, oh shit!
Immediately into our room came a flurry of nurses, residents and believe I even saw a cleaning guy do a little moping around my bed. I hoped that with all the chaos of the room James would show some balls and decide to pop out at that time! The resident seemed to have no clue how to get James' shoulders out, so she grabbed James' head and started pulling. Jim about threw her to the floor but instead pushed her chair over with his foot and got back in there and I mean "really" in there. He unhooked the shoulder and flipped the kid around all while yelling many profanities at her. There was so much craziness going on in that room that I'll be honest, I'm not exactly sure who delivered the baby! I just hope the cleaning guy put some gloves on!
Here are some pics of James.