I find myself literally walking around the house with my nose either up in the air or I'm down on all fours searching for the culprit. My family thinks I'm crazy and I'm cool with that. My poor kiddos. If I think I smell poop I yell out, "somebody better be in a bathroom, and turn on the fan will you?" I forget and even yell that when friends are here. I don't think any of them will step foot into my bathroom. I admit I even find myself sniffing when I'm out in public. Don't worry I have yet to do the all fours thing because even I would wonder if I needed to check myself in.
The other day I was in Hobby Lobster and I happened to walk down an aisle that someone had so sweetly sprayed with their scent. Come on people we aren't dogs, so there is no need to mark your territory. I'm not interested. As I approached the said aisle I happened to take a look at the gal who was leaving it. I kinda shook it off and continued shopping. I had a hard time concentrating, wondering if the odor was coming from her or God forbid was it me? Did I remember to shower? Yes its a reaccurring thing not remembering if I showered or not! So, let me think here. There was coffee, kids on bus, coffee, blogging, coffee and yes a shower. Whew, it's not me! I started my sniffing thinking oh great is there a gas leak or a sewer pipe break? I started walking down the aisle and the gal that I saw leaving before was back. I thought ok, before I search the store and then find the manager I'm gonna wait another minute and see if it was this gal. I was just about to reach for something off the shelf when I hit the floor. It sounded like I was being shot at but miraculously didn't feel any pain. Did I get hit, is there blood? Shocking to say this but the gal fired a machine gun out of her ass and she was where the smell was coming from. Holy Hell, did she really just let one rip? Oh honey, you might need to go and check your pants, I think you might have a present in there?
She happened to notice me crouched on the floor and as I looked up she said, "what?" In that valley girl I'm as dumb as a head of lettuce tone! If it were summer, my mouth would have drawn a whole army of flies it was open so wide! I just looked at her and said, "I know a doctor that can help you with that? Dam do I feel sorry for the person who sleeps with her at night!
Well thank God my comment flew right over her like a stealth fighter plane! I really didn't want to refer my husband or any of his colleagues to tackle her problems!
I was very happy that one of my favorite stores wasn't going to be exploding from a gas leak any time soon, well not a city gas leak that is!
Happy Friday to you all and remember take cover, you never know what you might be hit with!