Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Whose interested in a Giveaway?

Most people jump when they hear or see the word giveaway, am I right?
Well have I got a good one for you. Now its not here at my blog but it's over at a friend's blog. I'd like to introduce you to a super, fun, funky, bold, chirpy, energetic, spirited, peppy and zippy gal named Natalie of NatoBottoArt. I stumbled upon her blog a couple of months ago and I was blown away by her artwork and her energy!

She has such wonderful eclectic art that would fit in anyone's home. Not only does she have artwork but jewelry. This is one of the necklaces in her giveaway. Isn't it adorable?

And this is the back of the necklace. I love this saying!

I am so excited for her because this will be her first Giveaway over at her blog! You need to head on over and enter, quick!

I am hoping to save up some money for a piece of art that is just screaming my name. Let me show it to you.....

Its about Coffee, what else! Or even this one......

I just love her red lips and how she says fear is just an accessory! You either wear it or you don't! I vote for don't!

Hmmm, maybe I will drop some hints to my husband since my 40th is coming up this summer!

She also makes these cute headbands, love it! I'll just bet those earrings are hers too!

So please, head on over to Natalie's blog and enter her giveaway, you will be blown away by her talents!

Tell her 1 Funky Woman sent you!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Insert Foot Here!

So we were sitting in the bleachers at my son's school band/music concert last week, and I kinda had a very loud oops moment!

Just recently my son switched from playing Alto Sax to playing the Baritone Sax. We hadn't had the opportunity until then to see him play the thing or even carry it for that matter. His teacher doesn't want him to bring it back and forth because of how heavy and expensive it is. By the looks of it, I could understand her logic!

The concert itself went off without a hitch. Well lets just say it was as good as a 5th grade band concert could be. As James was walking off stage a friend's husband who was sitting close by said, "Wow, I'm impressed, that thing sure looks heavy for James to carry!" I then rather loudly said, "Yeah, did you see his strap on!"

I of course was referring to this, but by that time there was no back pedaling that would help me get out of this situation, and all eyes were on me!

Then my friend's husband said, "Well at least he's a boy!". I'm not sure if that helped any.

Hey it was getting a little boring in there and I just thought I would spice things up, no not really. I think its called, think before you speak! I'm still learning!

I wonder if I will ever sit through something without having to open mouth and insert foot. Doubtful, very doubtful. Where would the fun be in that!

Monday, April 25, 2011

A Kid's thoughts on Tooth Brushing!

I wonder if in your house it's a struggle to get your kids to brush their teeth. Well it sure is in mine. In fact, I can't tell you how many times one of my kids will say,
"I'll brush in the morning, I promise!" Funny thing is, come morning regardless if they did brush the night before or not, they will then say,
"I'll chew gum, no biggie!"

What do you mean no biggie, you still have to brush them! You're going to knock the bus driver over with your breath!

I can't tell you how many times I use this statement.... and it's still not working!

Well the other night we had the usual nightly battle of the tooth brush with Claire. I must have asked her 5 times to get her fanny in the bathroom and get her teeth brushed. I did my normal, yell, glare and even threaten to not read her a story if she didn't get in there. Usually if I say there won't be any book tonight she just goes running!

So I was hoping she would surprise me and just go on in there and brush on her own. I was prepared to give her the normal speech on plaque and cavities and why we don't want them. When I got in to the bathroom and saw her just standing in front of the mirror without her toothbrush in hand, I jumped into my lecturing of how I wouldn't ever think of going to bed without brushing and flossing, never! She turned and sighed and looked up at me and said, "Mom, you brush your teeth like crazy because you already have a guy, I don't so I don't see why I need to!"

It was so hard not to laugh with this one! It was just too funny, her putting the two together!

She'll figure it out soon, right!

She better, look at those teeth!

Enjoy your day!

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Let's go to the Hop!

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

Heres to a wonderful Easter Weekend! Turn off my music before hitting the arrow button!

Friday, April 22, 2011

When Life Gives you Lemons...........

Some days doesn't it seem like it would be more fun just to do this?

We are having our 5th day of rain and gloomy skies, its beginning to feel like we might never see the sun again! Plus poor Claire, she was up last night throwing up. So, neither one of us slept!

Off to switch the puke bucket!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Me, Always Behind with the Times!

I've been blogging for well over a year now and am still trying to figure out all the bells and whistles that go along with blogging. I would like to change my header and change some formatting but that seems to forever be a work in progress. I do think however, that I figured out how to get a "Subscribe via Email" button on my blog!

I am not as computer savvy as many of you out there, and most of the time I think I've done something and I find that not only have I not, but I've gone ahead and deleted something I really needed. So, fingers crossed I did it correctly! I just wondered if anyone out there that is interested in signing up, could let me know if they get an email with my new post tomorrow!
You know, I'll love you forever!

Gimme an "E"!

I found this big metal E at one of my favorite re-salvaged shops and just had to have it! The gal said it had been there a while, probably because no one's first or last name began with an E! Funny thing is no one's first name or even our last name begin with E either, but my husband and my son's middle name are Enoch so it works for us!

I'm a huge word and letter gal so this just had to come home with me.

I guess it could be for my gal Edith up there on the mantle too!

I picked up the mirror from the Good Will for $7.00 and thought I'd add the E for Whimsy!

Paired it with one of my many crowns, some green for Spring and Voila, my mantle!

Monday, April 18, 2011

It's Meet Me on Monday time again!

Today is the 43rd edition of "Meet Me On Monday" but only my second edition! I had so much fun doing it last week, that I thought I'd do it again. If you are interested, head on over to Never Growing Old so you too can join in on the fun!

Questions are as follows:

1. Caesar Salad or Garden Salad?
2. Will you be watching the Royal Wedding on April 29th?
3. Last thing you spent lots of money on?
4. Window seat or aisle seat?
5. Do you know your blood type?

And My Answers are:

1. Caesar Salad or Garden Salad?

No doubt it would be a huge Garden Salad like the one below. I pop those grape tomatoes like candy. I have been on a salad kick lately. My 40th will be here before you know it so I'm watching what I eat. I prefer Blue Cheese Dressing but if the salad is good a light Italian or oil and vinegar does the trick.

I'm hoping I don't get burnt out with salads and start seeing this on my plate!

2. Will you be watching the Royal Wedding on April 29th?

I would love to, but I'm not sure I can convince the troops to sit through it! I will never forget the day that Lady Diana got married. We were heading out of town for our family vacation when my father said, "We're all packed and ready to go, wait, where is everybody?" We were glued to the television set and said, "No we can't leave, not now!"

3. Last thing you spent lots of money on?

That's an interesting question since I am the queen of bargain shopping! I guess it would have to be the school fundraiser we went too where my husband was the big spender. He bid on a barn party. Its a gorgeous barn, so it will be a great party, and get this....he bid on a motorcycle ride for myself and 3 of my girlfriends! I've never been on a motorcycle in my life and never thought I ever would. This is how I'm sure he wishes I would look like on one!

And, this is the reality of how I will look like! Enjoy your dreams Honey!

4. Window seat or aisle seat?

This one made me laugh because it means I'm on a plane and I so hate them. Well, I will go with window seat even though I am claustrophobic.

I think being on the aisle you seem to get bumped a lot and frankly I'm not too keen on having someone's tush in my face ever hour when they need to get up to use the restroom either. Also, there is that pressure to hurry and gather your things together when the plane lands, if you are in the aisle seat. I have enough anxiety with flying, I don't need someone breathing down my neck and impatient!

5. Do you know your blood type?

Absolutely, it is.... NO I have no clue! Probably something I should know, ya think?

Hope you are all having a great night!

Sunday, April 17, 2011

I'm buying a revolving door!

I swear with as many times as my kids and their friends go in and out, my next purchase will be a revolving door. I don't think my house can stand another door slamming!

Dear Lord, please give me strength that all the boys and 1 girl (my daughter) don't drive me to the Psyche unit or to drink today with all the noise they are making. Shouldn't there be some rule that kids are not allowed over to someone's house at 10:30 on a Sunday morning!

It was totally obvious when three 11 year olds came knocking on my door this morning that their parents didn't want them around either.

Thank you Lord for the trampoline invention, really! Except why do they all become brainless when they get together. I've already gone out and told them the rules 3 times.

I'm sure the neighbors hate us!

I just went outside to see what all the noise was and this is what I found.....

Well these sure gave me a laugh! A laugh I needed! Ahhhh, to be a kid again and not have a care in the world!

Enjoy your Sunday! Don't let those memories pass you by!

Friday, April 15, 2011

A Prayer for my Tina Fey!

I wish I was this cool! Kinda funny after yesterdays post about girls and how we want them to believe in themselves, that I should come across this prayer that Tina Fey wrote for her daughter!

Tina you are my new idol for sure!

First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Bea......uty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, May she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her

When crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels.

What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen. Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, That she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.

“My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

I love the one about if her daughter turns on her and calls her a Bitch in front of Hollister! She is genius!

Enjoy your weekend!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

I'm not Perfect....But I'm Happy!

Now this might seem like an odd title but trust me, I really am going somewhere!

So, I just wanted you all to know I don't think of myself as perfect. I am the first one to admit my faults and imperfections to anyone who will listen. In fact I have a couple odd physical things about me that I usually just laugh about, such as......

Neither one of my ears match. At the top of my right ear the cartilage is closed but the left one is open. I did a dumb thing years ago and decided to pierce my cartilage on my left ear and guess what happened? Yup, it got infected. The earring left a dark spot in my ear, so now it looks like I always have dirt in there. I don't, but I see people staring!

My left nostril is smaller than my right. I believe my left breast got the memo and decided to overcompensate for my faulty parts because its bigger than the right breast, my nose and even my head at times!

I have this loud, crazy, witch cackle of a laugh. Most of my kid's friends say that I am a witch and some of them are scared of me! Muwahahahaha!!!!!

Oh, and I even have one of my rear butt cheeks bigger than the other one. How many of you can say that? Here's how that one happened. When Claire was 2 I fell down the steps while holding her and landed so hard on my ass that I almost passed out. Thank God I managed to make it to the bed to toss Claire to safety. I'm pretty sure it hurt more than childbirth, but because it was the middle of the night I didn't want to wake my husband. I ended up developing this horrible bruise in the shape of Mongolia. I probably should have gone in and had it looked at or better yet drained. Now I have a little bump inside that still hurts and I feel I now have a sort of bubble butt! How nice!

I'm sure by now you are all wondering why in the world is she telling us this?
But the reason I am telling you all of this is because I am concerned for our children these days, especially our daughters. I fear that if we don't look at our "imperfections" as unique little quirks, that make us who we are, then how do we go on teaching our children to be confident with themselves.

Something happened recently that has me wondering what kind of examples some mothers are setting for their girls. My daughter is 6 and in first grade. She recently had a little gal come over for a sleep over. They had a great time playing dress-up, restaurant and mommies! Despite a few hiccups because of strong personalities, they had a lot of fun!

When it got closer to dinner, I gave the girls a couple of options to chose from and they soon decided on pizza. I ordered from one of our favorite places where they have lasagna, salad and yummy bread sticks. As I was preparing the plates for the kiddos, Claire's friend seemed a little hesitant about what she wanted. After I served up Claire, I asked her friend again what I could get for her. She kinda hemmed and hawed then said, "I don't want to eat much because I'm worried about getting fat!"

"WHAT!" I practically screamed. Is this little teeny, petite thing really saying that to me?

Remember, she is 6 people! I practically flipped out, but then realized I wasn't going to get anywhere screaming. I took a deep breath and then got down to kid level. I spoke to both girls because I didn't want her friend to feel singled out. I told them how beautiful they both were. I then told them, that this was not something either one of them should be worrying about, especially at their age. I proceeded to tell them how I wanted them to be happy with themselves on the inside. I kind of felt her friends eyes on me and I said, "yes honey, I know I'm not some skinny mini, but I'm happy with who I am!" The outside appearance is just that and shouldn't be how we determine our happiness. I managed to get the little thing to eat a little of everything and then downed a beer or maybe two because I didn't expect any of that.

I have to tell you that I know her mom and "she" is a skinny mini. In fact she is more like a brunette barbie doll. It's true! That is why this little girl was saying how she didn't want to eat much. I'm sure she's heard her mother say those exact words.
I mean, her mother is a size 2, if that. She has nice perky boobs, a waist the size of my big toe and gorgeous hair. But frankly, there isn't always a lot going on upstairs! It just made me sad to hear this coming from someone so young and even sadder to know that if I approached her mother, I don't think it would do a dam bit of good!

How lucky was I to then turn on the Disney channel and see Selena Gomez's new video come on called "Who Says". She basically sings about "who has the right to say you're not beautiful, or be anything you want to be!" I love it! I love her line where it says, "I'm no beauty queen, I'm just beautiful me!" I explained to the girls what her words were saying and how no one has the right to tell you you can't be anything you want, you are all beautiful! Thank God there is still one normal star on Disney that seems to have her head on straight and that can be a role model for our girls. Kudos to her mother for teaching her morals and believing in herself!

Here is Selena's Video. I hope if you have a young girl you watch it with her because our girls need to believe they are beautiful and special. Turn my music off before playing!

Oh, about my imperfections, those are just a few reasons why I am 1 unique Funky Woman!

Monday, April 11, 2011

Meet Me on Monday ~ Too cool to pass up!

How cool is this? "Java" from Never Growing Old has put together a few questions as a way to get to know others in Blog Land. Now don't worry, she isn't expecting you to divulge any of your deep dark secrets I promise! Only fun silly ones!

So here are the questions she's asking!


1. Who would be your dream celebrity date?
2. Do you have any food restrictions?
3. How much time do you take to get ready in the morning?
4. Sausage or bacon?
5. Do you Google, Bing or Yahoo?

And these are my answers!

1. Who would be your dream celebrity date?

This is a hard one because there are too sexy look-alike guys I like to drool over!
Javier Bardem and Jeffrey Dean Morgan
~ Can we say Yummy with a capital Y?

1. Do you have any food restrictions?

I'm lucky to say I do not have any food restrictions but I would say that the one thing I hate to eat is rosemary! Call me crazy but I just don't like eating little twigs, and the flavor, yuck!

3. How much time do you take to get ready in the morning?

I laugh at this one because it depends on where I'm going! If someone called me up to have coffee and to be there in a half hour, then I'd just throw a hat on and jeans and run out the door. Yes, you read correctly, I wouldn't shower its true, so stop cringing! You are all too far away to smell me, lol! But if I knew the night before I was to be somewhere in the morning then it might be an hour! I have to flat iron the hair, that's what takes the longest!

4. Sausage or Bacon?

Easy, gotta be bacon and crispy please!

Everyone in my family loves bacon. I think one day my 11 year old son will be sporting one of these on his skin; he loves it so much!

5. Do you Google, Bing or Yahoo?

Google baby, only Google!

Now head on over to Never Growing Old and get in on the action!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

I've done it ~ I've turned into my Grandparents!

Do you remember when you were a kid and you went to your grandparents house or some other older relatives house and you were forced to sit on the plastic lined couch? While you were sitting there you were sweltering in 85 degree temperature because they didn't believe in turning on air, all the while sipping warm root beer out of a plastic cup, while the sweat was pooling underneath you? Ok, maybe that was just my nightmare, but it really happened!

Well I swore I would never ever do what my grandparents did. Putting plastic on my couch, as if! Unfortunately, I have succumbed to exactly this. I too have put plastic on my couches just like they had! Yes you heard correctly, PLASTIC! I wonder if it's too late for therapy?

This so is how we looked, except it was three girls!

In my next life I will never ever buy a cream sofa, ever! I'm not too sure what I was thinking when we purchased it, except I was six months pregnant and getting ready to move to another state with a 4 year old, a puppy and a husband who was starting a new job. I'm pretty sure I was very hormonal at the time. Well, speed up the clock 6 years and we have added a few more creatures!

It has taken a while but I have learned to love all the creatures in my home. And don't think I'm just referring to my dogs. Kids and a husband have their moments. I love the idea of putting them all in plastic if it would keep the house clean!

So I had my couches cleaned and then threw blankets over them to protect them. Well it didn't seem to bother the dogs, they just jumped up and laid like the King and Queen they think they are!

I decided it was time to take back my couches and finally train the little shits to stay off! I'm meaning the dogs here but hey if the hoodlums in my home and neighborhood can learn then I guess its a win, win!

My husband headed out to Lowes and found a large roll of plastic you might put down on carpet if you were having an open house and lots of traffic. He figured that the sound it would make when a dog jumped up might scare them and get them use to being on the ground.

Some of my son's friends came over yesterday and laughed once they saw the plastic. Remember they are 11 so it's amazing the things their minds can lead to. Great, can't wait for this to go around the neighborhood. I'm sure it will be like that game of telephone where the story never gets told the right way. The kids will be spreading rumors that instead of training the dogs it will be something about my family needs training because of all the accidents they have on the couches! And instead of plastic it will be potty pads!

Look at him eyeing that couch. Just waiting for me to turn around!

So there you have it folks, plastic on the couches just like my grandparents!

I'm scared to know whats next! It looks like anything is possible!

Oh, and if you visit, you might want to wear long pants, its getting warm here and I like to hold off on turning the air on for as long as possible!

Happy Tuesday!

No Phone Call Is Worth It!