Thursday, April 14, 2011

I'm not Perfect....But I'm Happy!

Now this might seem like an odd title but trust me, I really am going somewhere!

So, I just wanted you all to know I don't think of myself as perfect. I am the first one to admit my faults and imperfections to anyone who will listen. In fact I have a couple odd physical things about me that I usually just laugh about, such as......

Neither one of my ears match. At the top of my right ear the cartilage is closed but the left one is open. I did a dumb thing years ago and decided to pierce my cartilage on my left ear and guess what happened? Yup, it got infected. The earring left a dark spot in my ear, so now it looks like I always have dirt in there. I don't, but I see people staring!

My left nostril is smaller than my right. I believe my left breast got the memo and decided to overcompensate for my faulty parts because its bigger than the right breast, my nose and even my head at times!

I have this loud, crazy, witch cackle of a laugh. Most of my kid's friends say that I am a witch and some of them are scared of me! Muwahahahaha!!!!!

Oh, and I even have one of my rear butt cheeks bigger than the other one. How many of you can say that? Here's how that one happened. When Claire was 2 I fell down the steps while holding her and landed so hard on my ass that I almost passed out. Thank God I managed to make it to the bed to toss Claire to safety. I'm pretty sure it hurt more than childbirth, but because it was the middle of the night I didn't want to wake my husband. I ended up developing this horrible bruise in the shape of Mongolia. I probably should have gone in and had it looked at or better yet drained. Now I have a little bump inside that still hurts and I feel I now have a sort of bubble butt! How nice!

I'm sure by now you are all wondering why in the world is she telling us this?
But the reason I am telling you all of this is because I am concerned for our children these days, especially our daughters. I fear that if we don't look at our "imperfections" as unique little quirks, that make us who we are, then how do we go on teaching our children to be confident with themselves.

Something happened recently that has me wondering what kind of examples some mothers are setting for their girls. My daughter is 6 and in first grade. She recently had a little gal come over for a sleep over. They had a great time playing dress-up, restaurant and mommies! Despite a few hiccups because of strong personalities, they had a lot of fun!

When it got closer to dinner, I gave the girls a couple of options to chose from and they soon decided on pizza. I ordered from one of our favorite places where they have lasagna, salad and yummy bread sticks. As I was preparing the plates for the kiddos, Claire's friend seemed a little hesitant about what she wanted. After I served up Claire, I asked her friend again what I could get for her. She kinda hemmed and hawed then said, "I don't want to eat much because I'm worried about getting fat!"

"WHAT!" I practically screamed. Is this little teeny, petite thing really saying that to me?

Remember, she is 6 people! I practically flipped out, but then realized I wasn't going to get anywhere screaming. I took a deep breath and then got down to kid level. I spoke to both girls because I didn't want her friend to feel singled out. I told them how beautiful they both were. I then told them, that this was not something either one of them should be worrying about, especially at their age. I proceeded to tell them how I wanted them to be happy with themselves on the inside. I kind of felt her friends eyes on me and I said, "yes honey, I know I'm not some skinny mini, but I'm happy with who I am!" The outside appearance is just that and shouldn't be how we determine our happiness. I managed to get the little thing to eat a little of everything and then downed a beer or maybe two because I didn't expect any of that.

I have to tell you that I know her mom and "she" is a skinny mini. In fact she is more like a brunette barbie doll. It's true! That is why this little girl was saying how she didn't want to eat much. I'm sure she's heard her mother say those exact words.
I mean, her mother is a size 2, if that. She has nice perky boobs, a waist the size of my big toe and gorgeous hair. But frankly, there isn't always a lot going on upstairs! It just made me sad to hear this coming from someone so young and even sadder to know that if I approached her mother, I don't think it would do a dam bit of good!

How lucky was I to then turn on the Disney channel and see Selena Gomez's new video come on called "Who Says". She basically sings about "who has the right to say you're not beautiful, or be anything you want to be!" I love it! I love her line where it says, "I'm no beauty queen, I'm just beautiful me!" I explained to the girls what her words were saying and how no one has the right to tell you you can't be anything you want, you are all beautiful! Thank God there is still one normal star on Disney that seems to have her head on straight and that can be a role model for our girls. Kudos to her mother for teaching her morals and believing in herself!

Here is Selena's Video. I hope if you have a young girl you watch it with her because our girls need to believe they are beautiful and special. Turn my music off before playing!

Oh, about my imperfections, those are just a few reasons why I am 1 unique Funky Woman!


Megan said...

Wow that poor little girl. Sounds like your daughter is really lucky to have such a great role model in you. And I bet her friend will be over regularly to eat and play and just be a normal, healthy and happy kid.
By the way....the hematoma bump on your butt......apparently it may reduce with persistant gentle massage. I swear that's what I've heard. Helps redistribute the blood bruise etc. Maybe don't do that in public though LOL

Yer Cinnamon Girl said...

Hey Megan! Yeah I think we are the strongest influences on our girls. My daughter is turning 20 this year! She has a healthy self image. She was my inspiration to learn to accept myself unconditionally. I thought if I don't learn she really won't have a chance. When she was about nine she discovered India Arie released she released this song "Girl on the Video" that had a similar message. If you don't already know India Arie I think you'd like her judging from your music on your blog half those songs are on my ipod and I love her this is a good introduction to her: "Talk to her"

Karyn Climans said...

That is outrageously disturbing that a 6 year old is worried about her weight. Thank goodness the kids were eating at your house and you were there to counter this nonsense.
By the way, I totally agree with your comment, "I'm not perfect but I'm happy". In fact, I think the people who aren't happy are the ones who think they are perfect or who strive to be.

Simplegirl said...

Thank you so much for stopping by the blog today, it's such a treat! Don't worry before you know it, the warm weather will kick into gear and the kiddos will be splashing around too!

Dana - Curvy With A Side Of Confidence said...

Megan, good for you for explaining that to her. I have seen that happen with so many children. I once babysat a 10 year old that constantly called herself fat. I am sure it came from her mother telling her that without enough exercise and food she'd become fat. I always reminded her that it's great to be healthy but it's also important to be happy, like you said. Part of being happy is liking who you are. We even played dress up and she told me all the things she liked about herself. I hope that stuck just like I hope this conversation sticks with your daughter's friend.

Crystal said...

I really enjoyed this post. When something like that happens you have to wonder what is being said around the children.
I have a nine year old daughter, she has been called beautiful from her grandparents, aunts, friends. And she is beautiful...(bias I know =) but we are constantly telling her that beauty comes from within.
If children aren't getting that confidence from home where are they suppose to get it from?
Thanks for sharing that video =)

JTWisdom said...

Great post.
Children pick up on their parents so keenly so that was great what you said to the girls.
It's so much to be thankful for.
This is a great video but it's also so beautiful when parents build their children with inner confidence and they are their child's role models like you.

Following you via bloggy moms.


The Fine Life said...

No matter if their male or female, they hear everything we say. I birthed both, and I have heard similar things from boys, too. Words matter, and you used yours well by handling this situation with grace. The beer was warranted! It's hard to know in the moment that you've done or said the right thing. You aced this one!

Jen said...

You are sooo funny!
I am so glad that you spoke right into the Heart (and tummy) of that little girl. I really hope she hears you over the screaming and whining of her mom. YOu are right...I love Selena Gomez and that song too!

Funky Junk Antique Show said...

Well, Megan...We also have matching mis-matched!!!=)
Thanks for sharing...
lots of love,

No Phone Call Is Worth It!