Saturday, June 5, 2010

Never in a Million!

I don't mean to complain, honest I don't, but how many of you have ever lived with a cast before? Can I just say how awful, unpleasant, annoying, unbearable, bothersome, and irritating this is. Now don't get me wrong, as I said before I am over the moon with joy about my results but I didn't know it would be this hard!

How about playing a little game with me, won't you? Get in the shower with a very tight cut off any blood flow to your leg plastic bag, (I'm serious it's awful). Remember, you can't put your right foot down and you need to balance on your other foot and try to come up with a way to wash that foot you are standing on, all the while trying to make sure you don't fall over! Wow, I didn't think I would make it! In fact, I'm not sure I will ever shower again until this cast is off, lol!
I'm so glad my Pilates has paid off! You really need to be flexible while donning this hot pink thing. Despite all the hardships my sister and I have experienced this week we have had plenty of laughs. I can't tell you how many times she has walked in on me while both my legs were in the air, trying my damnedest to get my undies on! Oh, and then trying to get pants over the cast, that's been fun! There are more times than I care to count, on how many times my sister has wrenched my leg in doing so! These are some memories we will definitely be talking about for years to come!

Well, I needed to hop up and go to the bathroom and was faced with a toilet a kid forgot to flush. I was a little perturbed to say the least. Naturally I flushed it, right? Well it decided it didn't want to go down and it all started coming up on me. I screamed for my sister to come but she draws the line when it comes to OPP(other people's poop)! I threw my crutches down and bent over to turn off the water and almost went head first into the toilet! Oh, why me! Thank God I can find humor in most things and had quite an ab workout with our giggling!

I have to say that I don't use the "F" word, but this week my evil twin has been trying to get the best of me and tried so hard for me to say it. Now did you really think I meant that "F" word? Of course not, what kind of an Aunt would I be with Vivienne always around? I am referring to these "F" words.... Oh Fragglerock, Frito's, Fooseywhatsit, flapjacks, Farkle, Fig Newtons, firecracker and Floozy! Yep, just call me a sailor!

Yesterday we had to get out of the house before we lost it! And I'm pretty sure it was a toss up as to which one of us was worse. Yes, even Vivienne was included in that. We decided to drop off some bags at the goodwill and then run to the grocery store. My sister was just going to pop in and grab a few things but could tell by my expression that I needed to just get out and be around people. I said I'd just hobble slowly in there but to our surprise look what we found?

Never in a million years did I ever think I would be driving one of those! Here I am in all my glory! Amy and I have never laughed so hard! You know, you can't drive that thing and be inconspicuous! Every time you back up it makes this horrible beep beep sound. I had to put my leg up over the handle bars because of all the throbbing I was having. I noticed there were quite a few stares and several smirks and then it donned on me that I had forgotten that my husband wrote, "Tell Me I'm Hot" on the bottom of my cast. I had been driving all over that dam store with my foot in everyone's face. When we realized that I about died and almost fell off the scooter and Amy crashed into a little display shelf! No, don't worry we didn't attract any more attention to us with that, lol!

Wow, what an experience this all has been. Next week the kids get out of school on Tuesday and my in-laws are coming to pick them up and take them back to Nebraska. They will alternate between my family and Jim's family! Yippee for everyone!
They have been good helpers during all this but since Amy is leaving today, I think it will be much easier for me not to have to figure out places for them to go and ways to entertain them!

Well, my rear is beginning to get numb, so I better stand a bit!



Diana Mieczan said...

Ohhh I am so sorry sweetie...Hope you are relaxing and taking it easy:)
Kisses and see you soon!

Room Service ~ Decorating 101 said...

Can't say that I have , but I sure do feel for you. Thanks for visiting your photos put a smile on my face.

Jenglamgirl said...

I would be laughing hysterically right along with you and your sis. Forgetting the saying on the bottom of your foot while driving an old people cart... would do it for me... totally love it! Jenn

Karyn said...

I am so so pleased to hear the results of your tests ! I loved your post as always , sooo funny , I am sitting here with the biggest smile on my face.Have you tried a plastic footstool with rubber grippers on the bottom in the shower to elevate your foot ? Where do you find family like that to help out ? You are so blessed.
Now as for the F word , I dont say it either( well except once when a driver nearly hit my car with my first child in it at 3 months old). Never heard the term fragglerock but I like it . So Fragglerock it Im going to use it when my evil twin comes out.
Karyn x

Laura @ 52 FLEA said... sorry! At least you still have your sense of humor! Hang in there!

Sue said...

I broke my right ankle, and thankfully, for ALL my years of drinking milk and not eating meat, I didn't have to have surgery and pins and screws, just that damn cast up to my knee, couldn't put weight on it, and it SUCKED! A few things I learned. Depending on your height, go by tall kitchen trash bags with a tie! They work great for showers. Have someone go to a handicap supply store (sorry, that sounded cruel, didn't mean it that way) but buy a chair for the shower! I still use mine today for shaving my legs. Also, go to Staples and get a cheap office chair with wheels. You can do almost everything in that chair, seriously. I used mine so much it broke the day before my cast came off! That is the best thing I ever thought of. I just rolled around the house, pushing my self backwards with my "good" leg! And heads up, falling is a bitch. It doesn't hurt with the cast, but it is a bitch to get back up, a real bitch! Good luck!!

Farmgirl Paints said...

You poor thing! I can't even imagine. Just think how strong your other leg will be when it comes off;)

Stephanie said...

oh, I feel so bad for you but this was too funny! I love that you posted your "tell me I'm hot photo"!!! Funny, funky and fabulous!

Mandi said...

I love LOVE that you took a pic of yourself carting it around. You rock, sista. I'm sorry! This is going to be a hard (how long do you have to have the cast? 6 weeks?) time! I hope it goes by soo fast.

Anonymous said...

Nice post, like it.... keep blogging.

jules @ The Diversion Project said...

oh you poor thing - sounds like a flipping nightmare.

and never mind about the f word, i sadly drop it more frequently than the cast of four weddings a funeral. always tricky with kids too, trying to find an escape route to be able to utter it with the gusto i want, right at that very moment : )


Acanthus and Acorn said...

Never a cast, but broke my collar bone in college and had to wear this contraption...and yes lots of help doing pain!
You are smart to keep your sense of humor!

Susan said...

What an enjoyable blog. And I love the music too. Thank you for letting me visit.

Vic said...

Sisters are awesome! This is hilarious! I love what you've written...ur def. HOT! Tres Tres HOT! Hehe....hope it's feeling better:) Don'tcha just love acting goofy in the stores:) FUN! xoxoxo

Jeanne said...

How I would have loved to be in that store with you cruising down the aisle...cast up with that sign on the bottom. I think people will be talking about that for weeks to must have made their day...I know some of your antics in the past week have made mine. You have such a way of making the worst seem hilarious Megan. I do not want to even begin to imagine what that cast must feel like.

Someday you will be running here and there and will look back at this post and smile...

Now, I can't wait to hear about what you get up to on your own this week. Keep a diary for a will make for very interesting reading. I am sure. :)

Take care Megan...and keep smiling but I don't really need to tell you that, do !


Home's Where My Heart Is said...

You are so funny! I love this post, I was cracking up the entire time! I'm glad to see you haven't lost your sense of humor or your wit in the last week.

I hope you're starting to feel better...

You take care, and watch out for trouble..

Carrie @ Dittle Dattle said...

that is not small cast! Wow girl! Glad to see it's not keeping you down :D

Tillie said...

A cast is the WORST thing EVER to live with. I had to for about 3 months almost 3 years ago thanks to me being a HUGE clutz. Gene had to duct tape a plastic bag on it everytime I needed to take a shower and I refused to go to the grocery store. Ever. I totally used a wheelchair at work too cause I HATED the crutches with a vengeance. I hope your heal super fast!! *hugs*

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