Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

I just downloaded this to my Kindle and if anyone has read it I would love to hear your thoughts!

There was a paragraph that I loved ~

"That's what I love about reading: one tiny thing will interest you in a book, and that tiny thing will lead you onto another book, and another bit there will lead you onto a third book. It's geometrically progressive ~ all with no end in sight, and for no other reason than sheer enjoyment".

Guess what? I have a favorite little person visiting from California today, I'm so excited!

Yes, its Vivienne! Viv and her mommy are coming and staying through the weekend!
Now how many projects can we get done?
Stay tuned!

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

101 Ways to Annoy People!

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog."

15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."

27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

41. Set alarms for random times.

42. Order a side of pork rinds with your Fillet Mignon.

43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.

44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

45. Honk and wave to strangers.

46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.

47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

49. Wear your pants backwards.

50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"


53. only type in lowercase.

54. don't use any punctuation either

55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.

61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."

62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

73. Drive half a block.

74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

75. Ask people what gender they are.

76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.

77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".

79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.

81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

86. Wear a LOT of cologne.

87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental

88. Sing along at the opera.

89. Mow your lawn with scissors.

90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

96. Never make eye contact.

97. Never break eye contact..

98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

Monday, March 29, 2010

My Son the Hypochondriac!

Ok, I love my son but he is a freak!

See what I mean! Now how did this get in there? This was James as a gargoyle last year for Halloween!

What, where did this come from? This was James as the Joker this past Halloween!

I digress! What I mean is James thinks that every bump, bruise, mark, sore, itch, scrap, and tingle means he has some disease and he will probably need a shot and then die! Why, I have no idea! This past weekend he asked my husband what a colostomy was and what were the reasons a person might get one. Thank God my husband is a doctor. I would never know how to answer half of my sons questions! And let me tell you, my son asks a million questions about the human body. Sometimes my husband will forget who he is talking to when he describes a procedure so I do have to remind him to use layman's terms. Jim explained a few things and then he and I went back to cleaning the garage but not before James asked if he would ever have to have a colostomy. Jim said, "Honey as far as I can tell, I don't see why you would need one right now." James said, "whew good" and off he went with Claire on the trampoline. And we went back to cleaning where we spent most of our weekend and two trips to the Good Will! Wow, what a feeling to get rid of crap!

James did come back and ask a few more questions but I didn't really hear the details so no biggy! Later that day James went over to a friends house and we had Claire and ooooh, Kids Choice Awards! I cannot believe I had to sit through that, yuck! I could feel my brain just oozing out of my head just like that slime! James came back home around 10:30. I was reading in bed when I heard him come in. He asked my husband for a snack and they chatted for a few minutes and off to bed he went!

Flash forward ahead 3 hours and James is standing at "MY" side of the bed, crying! He is confessing that the reason he asked his Dad about the colostomy was because he thinks he needs one! He says, "I haven't pooped for 2 days!" In between muffled cries, he says, "I think I'm going to die! Wake up Jim your son needs you! You know being woken up like that is not good for the heart! We had a tough time calming the kid down but eventually we did! Jim explained that it is completely normal to not poop for two days and he should drink more water and eat some more fruit the next day. I gave James a hug and wished him good night as my husband took him upstairs. The last words I heard before going to bed, "Again", were "Dad, how many times do you poop a day?"

Never a dull moment around here, now I can't wait for him to ask me how many times I poop a day!

Happy Monday everyone! Do you know how many times you poop a day? Ha!

Friday, March 26, 2010

Goodwill, gotta love it!

Look what I found at Goodwill today....

I was so excited when I spotted these, I practically ran to the next aisle. I turned them over and found out they were from Japan and at $1.00 a piece, I just couldn't pass them up. Won't they be perfect for Irish coffee or maybe coffee with Baileys? Yum!

Then I decided to check out the picture aisle and found these beauties for $2.00 a piece. Hmmm, not sure what I'm doing with this bird theme but I know I can always give them to my sister. She has a whole bird thing going on in her house. I was thinking I might paint them black so it looks like real bamboo and maybe rough them up a little.

I sure hope everyone has had a great Friday and remember......

“Only Robinson Crusoe had everything done by Friday." ~ Unknown

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Laundry Room Reveal!

I'm finally finished with the Laundry Room! I have seen so many fabulous laundry rooms lately that I thought it was time to get cracken! I had my artist friend come in and do some magic. I had this blank wall so I told her that I wanted the water hose to look like it was spraying out of control. I also knew I needed "my" bra floating and a couple other pieces of clothing floating around, so this is what we came up with!

The shelving is just unfinished wooden shelves from Hobby Lobby. I then painted them a fun pink. I found these glass jars and put my laundry detergent in them. The two white milk glass containers I found at the Goodwill and they hold dryer sheets and a bleach pen!

I'd like to introduce you to Stella and Clyde. Stella is my washer and Clyde is my dryer. Oldies but goodies! Doesn't everyone name their machines?

Up above the cabinets are some fun cake plates and boxes that look like presents. I just loved all the colors and thought they were too cute to store them in a drawer. I have used them at Claire's birthday with cupcakes on them. I found that pillar with the bird house and painted it green and added pink swirls. The bird house is from an artist in Illinois. And that's just an old window with some fun painted swirls. I love the colors!

This is my laundry folding and catchall area. I hung this JUNK cubby to hold my Swiffer wipes that I use all the time and some other things I might need as I fly out the door. Who doesn't need a spritz of perfume, sunglasses and gum? I have a flip flop bank to collect the loose change found in clothing and the milk glass bowl (found at the Goodwill) is used to collect random things my children have in their pockets. The fun lamp I found at a thrift store!

This is the opposite wall. Since my kids do artwork all the time I knew I needed a place that I could display their work. I took three bulletin boards and painted the trim aqua and then found letters to spell out ART and I painted them the same great pink color as the shelving!

My laundry is to the left as you enter from the garage, so it has a ton of pegs to hold jackets and backpacks.

Maybe I will find a bench to put under the pegs sometime, but for now my room is complete! I'd love to hear what you think of it! I love comments!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Look who's having a birthday!

My niece Vivienne is 1 today! I can't believe it. It seems like just yesterday, I flew to California for her birth and spent a whole week holding her! Beware, I went a little picture crazy but with this face do you blame me?

4 days old!

Very excited Aunt!

Can't a gal get any sleep around here? Someones always touching me!

Claire was in California with me and she fell in love!

Claire picked out this dress for Vivienne and I think she loves it!

I love this picture!

Just hanging out! Claire wore this onesie when she was a baby!

Vivienne and her mommy came to Iowa for a visit! Claire feels like such a big girl holding the baby!

James was so bummed when my sister had a baby girl, but he soon got over that when he met her!

At the Iowa State Fair in the butterfly garden!

Vivienne was getting in the Halloween spirit with her skull hat!

Took a trip to Nebraska to see my nephew Tommy. He will be 1 in May! Vivienne thinks he is funny!

Vivi having a play date with her little friend. Don't you love the bow I got her?

Some of you have seen these pics, but they are too cute to leave out! My sister and I were having fun playing dress up!

Gordon her horse was trying to get her cookie!

She loves her Uncle noch noch! My husbands middle name is Enoch and we thought Uncle Jim was boring so we shortened it to Uncle noch noch. Pronounced like knock.

I think she thought James was asleep and thought she would crawl away!

Getting ready for her trip back to California!

Happy Birthday my sweet Vivienne!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

I couldn't help myself, again!

Great idea. Bills should never be near the catalogs!


Rent must have been really cheap!

No, thats really not their name, is it?

I haven't driven off with the grocery bag on top, but I have driven off with my coffee on top of the car!

I got nothing here, speechless!



She can't believe it either!

Aren't dingle berries what cats usually have hanging from their.......

I guess this is a way for adults to get their grains in the morning!

How would you like this as your mailbox?

Redneck Mansions!

You know your a redneck when you swim with wires!

How would you like to kiss that?

I guess there is a Big Foot!

I hate roller coaters, and this one seriously terrifies me!

Wouldn't you wonder if it were safe to swim if you saw this?

Happy Tuesday! I am almost finished with my painting in my laundry room today! I just needed a few laughs before I jumped back into it!

No Phone Call Is Worth It!