Monday, March 22, 2010

Health Advisory for Women

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or
pharmacist about White Wine.

White Wine is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident
about yourself and your actions. White Wine can help ease you out of
your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing
to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of White Wine almost immediately and with
a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent
you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will
discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start
living, with White Wine. White Wine may not be right for everyone.
Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use White Wine. However,
women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to
try it.

Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration,
erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of
money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing,
headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and
play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked
Twister.

WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine may make you think you are whispering
when you are not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine is a major factor in dancing like an
idiot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine may cause you to tell your friends over
and over again that you love them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~
WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine may cause you to think you can sing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~
WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine may lead you to believe that ex-lovers
are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~
WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

NOW JUST IMAGINE WHAT YOU COULD ACHIEVE WITH RED
WINE!!!_____ _________ _________ _________







13 comments:

Farmgirl Paints said...

You are too funny!!!

Home's Where My Heart Is said...

Megan this is great!!

Jeanne said...

Very good Megan, I am sending that one to my daughter who is in her first year of University. Reads like her Facebook page:)
Jeanne

Londen @ Sixty-Fifth Avenue said...

So funny! And yes, im sure red wine would have some fun and scary things to add! I usually use red...I might just have to try white!
Londen

Julie Johnson said...

You're hysterical! Funny, I enjoyed a little white vino at a wedding last night...hope I wasn't too loud... :)

AtOneWithHim said...

Bwwaahahaha. That WAS funny. I laughed through the whole thing... tears in my eyes and everything... ohhh.
Hey, I wonder how does alcohol turn us all into the same person? Alcohol...the cloning drug.

First time but not the last time visitor. Thanks for the smile!

Kerry said...

La Dolfina was right...you are one funny lady! And I'm pleased to say I agree with your philosophy on white wine...and even better...we're into autumn here on this side of the world...so red wine...look out!

La Dolfina said...

OMG That is fricking hilarious because I know several women that use the stuff and do all those things :)
By the way, thanks again for the Happy 101 Award. I just posted about it... check it if you get a minute :)
XOX

Beach House Living said...

Oh my goodness very funny. My friend will tell you she can accomplish anything with red wine

Marydon Ford said...

Megan, I am LOL, trust me! You are a real KICK!

Happy spring!
Have a beautiful week.
TTFN~ Hugs, Marydon

The Zhush said...

HA! (and HI!) So funny, adding to that, Women you use White Wine should not operate heavy machinery, drive, facebook stalk old boyfriends, email, or twitter. Blogging is optional!
Thanks for the laugh!

Room to Inspire said...

What a great post - I am a red wine kinda girl, but I say all of these apply to red just as well!

Chelsea

Lauren said...

oh my gosh love this!!! hahahah

i think i can dance when i have white wine- eeeeeek ;)
xoxo,
lauren

No Phone Call Is Worth It!

MomsMsg.com