Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Are you ready for some tears in your coffee?

First off, I'd like to report I did survive Monday's field trip but barely. I swear, I want to be on whatever my son's teacher is on because she just skates through her day without a care in the world. And when I say without a care, thank God there were 7 parents keeping track of all the kids because she just assumed the kids were behind her at all times.

The Trekkie show was painful and I'm still not sure what lesson the kids were to get out of that. I cringed and had to slouch down in my seat when they approached my aisle for volunteers to board their space ship. No way was I getting on that stage and acting all Vulcan!

At the end of the day because it was a long day. 8:30 ~ 3:30 to be exact the teacher boarded the bus and turned to thank us before we walked off to our car. Hell yes we drove (another mother and I) No way were we going to travel on that crazy bus with 11 year old boys and girls and all that noise.

Anyway she said, "I think the day went very well and all the kids enjoyed themselves, did you?

I said to her, "Well, I can definitely say, this was an experience I will never forget, that's for sure!" My friend who was with me practically chocked on her spit!

As much as it pains me to do this again, I feel that for the safety of the children, and because I feel its important to know what the kids are being "taught", I will do it again! I'm thinking we parents need to be paid to go on these things or at least a free beer card after its over, lol!

OK, so here's where the tears start to flow in your coffee!

Have you ever just needed a good cry? Well let me tell you this is a doozy! I can barely see while I type this, my eyes are so swollen from all the tears I've shed!

This is so heartfelt and moving that there are no words, WOW!

Please turn off my music before watching!

To all the men and women in the military and there families, thank you for all you do!

Monday, March 28, 2011

Is it Monday Already?

Well it definitely feels like it's a Monday! Kids woke up on the wrong side of the bed and that made them a little crabby. Which didn't help my mood! Tell me why my 6 year old daughter freaks out if her hair isn't perfect? That is the whole reason we got it cut, so it would make my life easier. It's not! There is so much drama most mornings and frankly getting that coffee in fast to ease my pain is kind of a struggle!

But hey it could be worse! I could have my husband's job where this literally happens! He is a surgeon and sees things I can hardly imagine!

I'm off to chaperon my son's 5th grade class field trip. We are going to the Civic Center and watching some Star Trek play!

Can someone shoot me now? I am so not a Trekkie and I'm thinking right about now, I'd like to switch places with my hubster!

I need coffee!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, March 25, 2011

Weird, Interesting and Useless Facts!

My husband loves telling me goofy, useless facts almost daily. The funny thing is knowing those facts has helped him when we've played Trivial pursuit or Balderdash! In fact they've even helped me out some!

If you haven't played this game you must! We played it with a group of friends and we had a fantastic time. It's kind of a bluffing game. You are given a word and you can either write the real definition or a made up one. Then you have to guess which way the person went. The group we were with was such a diverse group of people. It consisted of Doctors, professors, world travelers and then there was moi! I held my own pretty well I'll tell you!

Here are some silly, weird and semi useless facts for your reading pleasure!

1. Most lipsticks contain fish oils! (Ewwwwww! I guess we should always read the fine print before purchasing!)

2. There are more plastic flamingos in the U.S. than real ones! (I seem to notice more and more in people's yards but had no idea more than real ones!)

3. Most alcoholic beverages contain all 13 minerals necessary to sustain human life. (Wow, I guess we can keep drinking! Cheers, I'm having my coffee and Baileys right now!)

4. Nachos are the food most craved by pregnant women. (For me it was tomatoes, weird I know!)

5. Each year, 24,000 Americans are bitten by rats! (Hate rats, they freak me out!)

6. Men can read smaller print than women, but women hear better! (Well I for sure can hear better than my husband!)

7. Non-dairy creamer is flammable! (This is scary! What they hell is it doing to our insides!)

8. A toothpick is the object most chocked on by Americans! (Crap, I better not have my daughter grab them at restaurants anymore!)

9. A cockroach can live several weeks with it's head cut off! (Now that is sick!)

10. The creator of the NIKE Swoosh symbol was only paid $35.00 for the design! (I sure hope he is getting some mullah now!)

11. Nearly 22,000 checks will be deducted from the wrong account over the next hour. (Well, I hope some gets deposited into mine then!)

12. U.S. President Calvin Coolidge liked to eat breakfast while having his head rubbed with Vaseline.
(I guess we all have some type of weird fetish!)

13. Chewing gum while peeling onions will stop you from crying! (I am so gonna try this one!)

14. When the moon is directly overhead, you weigh less! (I'm gonna look for that moon tonight and bring my scale outside!)

15. There are more bacteria in your mouth than people in the world! (Just think of what is happening when you swap spit!)

16. Cranberries are sorted for ripeness by bouncing them; a fully ripened cranberry can be dribbled like a basketball! (You know you wanna try this!)

17. In 1980, a Las Vegas hospital suspended workers for betting on when patients would die! (How sad is that!)

18. You are more likely to get attacked by a cow than a shark. ( I think those cows are getting pissed off with all the cow tipping!)

19. One in three male motorists picks their nose while driving! (I've seen it!)

20. In India, people are legally allowed to marry a dog! (Well at least you can kennel it and not get into trouble!)

21. More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call. (My husband wishes he was one of those, he hates the phone!)

22. "Jedi" is an official religion, with over 70,000 followers in Australia! (Maybe that's why my son wants to move there!)

23. Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie! (I'll have my daughter do the licking from now on or ask for the stickers!)

24. A person uses approximately fifty-seven sheets of toilet paper each day! (You're all gonna start counting aren't you!)

25. On average, a 4-year old child asks 437 questions a day! (So not surprised at this one! I wonder how many questions a 6 and 11 year old ask? I believe its 500 or more, I swear!)

Happy Spring! Its snowing today! No surprise to me, it's Iowa!

Thursday, March 24, 2011

~ New Old Curtains ~

I decided to rip down the curtain treatment that has been in my Living Room for more years than I'd like to admit. The top part is what came with the house and I added the hanging fabric. I guess it was a homemade cornice board with fabric stapled. I looked at this wall the other day and said, "What they hell are those awful things?" You would think I had just walked into this house for the first time and just discovered how truly heinous they were!

Here are some before pics!

A different angle!

These are the curtains from my Dining Room that are now in the Living Room!

Ideally I would have hung the rod higher but because of the way the wall and studs are located my husband said I only got one shot. It works and opens up the window. In the Dining Room I am working on my first sewing project since 9th grade. Crazy to take something like that on since I have no idea what I'm doing.

Now I'm certainly not one to have everything matching or spend a lot. So I'm ok with the pillows and that lamp is truly one of my favorites!

So I'm always up for comments, thoughts, suggestions, money, tips, lol! Hey who isn't up for money?

Have a fabulous Thursday!


Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Science Experiment Not Planned!

Whatever you do, do not, I repeat do not trust your child to bring home their lunch bag each day and empty the leftovers. If you do leave it up to them, then it will for sure be forgotten and your nose and eyes will be in for a huge surprise. I am a little embarrassed to say this, but my daughter's lunch bag was left over Spring Break. Once I discovered it, it nearly threw me on the ground!

I could barely get the container and bread to the trash, without throwing up! I mean, I could hardly breathe! Once I decided to do this post I just happened to notice the same exact things she had, in her bag listed under moldy lunch food! I'm guessing its a common thing with kiddos!

Dun, Dun, Dun ~ leftover noodles, barf! Seriously, she had noodles that looked just like this!

A piece of moldy bread! Oooooh, gross!

Then I just happened to look in my fridge and I found these! OMGosh how the hell did that happen? I thought I just bought those!

Well after I survived that ordeal I decided to do some shopping and I laughed when I saw these...

Anti-Theft lunch bags, ha for sure no one will be stealing my kids lunches with these moldy stand-ins! What a hoot!

Funny thing is, looking at these things now, I don't feel so sick. Who wants some ice cream?


Tuesday, March 22, 2011

"The Grand Entrance!"

Ha, I'm not too sure about grand but it is our front door entry and I changed it up a bit!

I showed you yesterday my switching the green buffet from the Living Room and putting the dresser from the entry in its spot.

Well where do you think I put this beauty?

Ding, ding, ding, you are right! Yep, I put it in the entry!

Here are some before pictures of the entry during different holidays!

Easter last year!

Halloween a couple years ago!

This was just at Christmas! Sorry for the crazy picture!

And now this is how it looks today!

I thought this piece would give the entry more presence! Did I mention what a steal I got this piece for? Well I thought it was a steal at $150.00! There were no doors on the front because the gal is still painting them, so I just slid some baskets in their spot! I actually think she has forgotten all about me and the doors. I'm not planning on putting them on when and if I get them. I guess it would just be nice to have the option!

I then took the mirror from the Dining Room and did a switch-a-roo! These lamps were in the bedroom with kind of a brown suede fabric. I grabbed them out and then switched to these shades I found at Target on clearance!

Took the beast of a tree and moved that to the Dining Room in front of the window! Argh, its grown since I moved it! I think it's taking over!

The coat rack I found at TJ Maxx. I think I still have the tag on it. We have an entry closet as you can see in the far left but that is Claire's craft closet. Still thinking on the coat rack though. There are so many kids from the neighborhood that come over and they throw their coats on the floor or the banister. I just thought having the coat rack there, they might actually use it! So, should I keep it?

That's it for now folks!

More to come, I think I'm on a roll!


Monday, March 21, 2011

New Picture Wall!

I've been busy rearranging lately! Something I can't help but do pretty much on a daily basis. In fact its been what my husband refers to as "Hammer Time!" No not because we've been listening to......

Or even practicing our M.C. Hammer slide!

What I have been doing is hammering nails and hanging pictures. Here is my Living Room wall before with buffet. I love this green buffet but decided it just wasn't working with my furniture so I switched the buffet out and brought in my dresser from the entry.

Ta Da!

I've incorporated some favorite pictures I've been collecting for a while. Some that were my moms and others that just spoke to me! I realize now I need to hide that cord from the lamp!

The chair is from the Goodwill and still not sure if I will paint it or not. What do you think?
The pillow cover I found and just threw a pillow form I already had. I thought the 4 was fun and could represent the 4 members in our family! Well just the humans! I wasn't going to refer to the many creatures we still have!

I will be showing more pictures of the Living Room this week, and where I put the green buffet!

Spring Break is over for us, thank God. Keep your fingers crossed that I don't get a call from school. My daughter complained of a belly ache this morning. If she does come home I will feel awful that I made her toughen up and go!


Thursday, March 17, 2011

"Oh Danny Boy!"

I just love that song! I remember going to some friends of my parents house once and the fellow that was hosting the party got up and sang "Oh Danny Boy" while his daughter played the piano. It was seriously a night I will always remember!

When my mother died we had an Irish wake to celebrate her life and of course we had to have lots of Irish Music and Guinness. I myself do not like Guinness but on that night I did toast to my mother while a fellow sang "Oh Danny Boy" in my parent's backyard. It was very lovely as far as funerals go.

So today I toast my mother since she was Irish and loved St. Patty's Day! Lucky for her, she made it to Ireland before she died. She sat in a little Irish pub and drank the best Guinness she had ever had!

Cheers Mom!

If you have never seen or heard The Celtic Woman, then you are in for a real treat. Not only are they gorgeous but they are such amazing singers! Turn my music off before playing!


Monday, March 14, 2011

Total Slip of the Tongue!

This week is Spring Break for us and my husband and son took a "guys" trip hunting. So, when the cats are away the mice will play! Well not really. It's only been two days since they have been gone and my daughter and I have pretty much been snuggling in bed watching movies, reading and just being silly.

Today we decided to hit the dollar theatre because not only was it time to get out of the house but it was a beautiful day. We thought we would run into Walgreen's for some treats and some waters. Yes I am one of those that buys the treats and sticks them in her purse. Why do you think I carry such a large bag? We do however, fork over the dough for the popcorn!
Remember, I love my popcorn, yum!

So we are in the candy aisle and my daughter was having a hard time deciding between some Sponge Bob gummy crappy patties and a Hershey's chocolate bar. I suggested a few things and then said, "Claire, lets get some Reese's Penis!"

I cannot even explain this one folks. It just totally slipped out! Now I do know it wasn't because I was thinking of sex! No I'm pretty sure Walgreen's has never been a place where I've gotten my jollies from. It was like for a moment it wasn't even me saying it.

My daughter then says, "Mom, do you know you just said Penis?" "I can't believe you would say that!"

I could barely muster up the courage or strength, to turn my head left or right to check if anyone had walked into our aisle, I was laughing so hard. Luckily it was still the two of us in our aisle and we were able to escape.

My daughter did bring it up one more time but I do believe has since forgotten. We saw the Yogi Bear movie. I'm not even sure it was even worth the dollar theatre price but it made her happy!

So that is how we have been spending our Spring Break. I sure hope I don't have anymore sudden outbursts. I guess if I do, my daughter will sit me down with a bar of soap in my mouth like Ralphie!

A little mortified in Iowa!


Thursday, March 10, 2011

I'm thinking of being a stand-up....when I grow up!

What will I be when I grow up? We ask our children that all the time. We want them to start thinking at a young age what their likes and dislikes are, so it can help them on their path for the future. Some questions we might ask are, "Do you like to draw?" Well, here are some tools to help you be an artist. "Do you like music?" "Well, lets take some lessons. Oh, by the way, my son did get his banjo for Christmas and is taking lessons. Maybe if they do a remake of Deliverance he can be the boy who plays the dueling banjo part!

We try to foster those interests with our children but do you think one is ever too old to start something new? Well I've been asking myself this same question. At almost 40, yes I will actually be 40 this summer, what is it that I like to do? What will I be when I grow up? I'm a mom but I don't want that to be what defines me. Frankly, I need something that is just for me and quite honestly between you and me, I kinda suck at the whole mom thing! Ok, just ask my kiddos!

I've been having some weird dreams lately. I wish I could say they were juicy and I was waking up in a cold sweat because of some hot pool boy. Well, I did wake up sweating last night but that was because my daughter crawled into my side of the bed and practically slept on me the whole night. You never need a blanket when she's around, she's like an electric heater but with bony legs and feet, ouch!

Lately I've been dreaming I was a stand-up comedian. Me a stand-up! Wow never thought that would enter my brain-sphere but it did. But then I started to think that wait a minute, I might actually be able to pull this one off! I mean, I can certainly talk to anyone and I usually get a laugh when I do. I tell it like it is and pretty much don't worry about offending anyone because this is me and you either like me or you hate me. Now stop, I know you all like me!

Winner! Oh, sorry! I was just having a Charlie Sheen moment!

I really think I could do this! I know I've got some great subjects to work with. I mean, I've got crazy loud kids that drive me bonkers and dogs that seem to poop and puke at the worst time. Like right at the front door minutes before company is coming over. And if that isn't great material then I could talk about boobs! God knows I got em, so I can talk about em! How about husbands, I also have one of those so I know how they are. How many of your husbands do a little, "baby I know you want me, in his black socks dance!" Yeah, I know, I got a keeper!

I recently came across this gal and her videos and I think I've watched her more times than I can count and I still seem to LMAO. Some of you may have heard of her before. She is known for "William Tell Momisms Song" She is so worth watching. I love her so much especially because she believes that "Coffee is a Cheerleader in a cup" That is so how I feel. Enjoy watching but don't forget to turn off music at bottom right!

So, do we see a comedian in my future?

Working at this whole mother thing, one day at a time and one drink at a time!


Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Can Someone Stick a Needle in my Eye....Please?

You would think we had 8 inches the way the weather people and our school are talking about the snow. For crying out loud we had a light dusting and because of that you need to torture me with a two hour delay! I love my kids I do, but I just think I need a vacation from them!

The only good I can see from the snow on the ground is using it to keep my stash cool!

My children like to talk. In fact they talk so much I have to wear ear plugs just to take the edge off! The decimals that each one can reach can often make the dogs go running! I think if you were to walk into the house you might think I have 5 kids instead of 2! My husband and I often look across the table at dinner barely able to say two words to each other because of the ping pong match going on between the kids. I swear I'm getting whip lash from watching them!

Now I hate most t.v. in fact I can't stand it when the kids just sit there spaced out to it. They hear nothing going on around them and its like a vacuum because it just sucks what brains they do have right out of them! But, this morning I sent them both to watch it! I'm on my third cup of coffee and it still isn't getting to the brain at least ......

I'm thinking that I am going to see if they need anymore bus drivers. I'm pretty sure if I were driving one of those buses then for sure my kids would get to school regardless of snow! My kids would either hate me or they would say......
For now I am going to take a big breath, continue sucking my coffee from my straw and then use this...

and then maybe that dam bus will show up!

Happy Hump Day to you all!


Monday, March 7, 2011

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks

My bad! I've been a little MIA these past couple days because of my reading jag! I decided instead of another day passing and not blogging, I thought I would let you all know what I'm reading!
And no it's not porn or even the Art of Wicca, although.....

Sorry lost my train of thought!

Anyhoo I am in a book group and our book for March is

This book is about Henrietta Lacks, who scientists refer to as HeLa. She was a poor Southern tobacco farmer who had her cells taken from her without her knowledge. They were the first "immortal" human cells grown in culture. Amazingly they are still alive today.

I had never heard anything about this book up until now. Once I found out it had a lot of science and cell talk I cringed.

I first looked at the library and had no such luck. Since this is a fairly new book they do not house many copies and the few that they do have were checked out. I found out the waiting list for this was as long as my arm, so I was not thrilled that my only option was to purchase this book. I ended up at Borders because sadly we don't have a Barnes and Noble which is usually my first choice. I read that Borders has filed bankruptcy but luckily for me the stores in Iowa are not closing, whew!

I ran into the bookstore and asked for some help finding it. The gal told me it was going to be located in Biology. I know I looked at her with a blank stare because I have never gone to the Biology section of a bookstore in my life!

I was happy to see there was 1 copy left. I think the only thing I do know about Science is how to spell it. As I recall, I barely made it through biology in 9th grade because of the frog dissection. I was partnered up with a kid that I swear skinned cats in his backyard and would talk about how much he loved dead things! As much as I begged to switch lab partners I was not allowed to and I prayed every day that I would not bump into this kid in an alley or say anything to piss him off! Once my 9th grade year was over, I found myself yet again in a science room and this time it was chemistry. I thought I would rather stick a needle in my eye repeatedly then learn the periodic table. I'm pretty sure I lasted through the first week of chemistry and then found out that I didn't need it to graduate, so I said, "adios!"

I am so hoping my excitement of getting out of Science doesn't backfire while reading this book!

What I can tell you about the book is that it isn't what I thought. It is about a family. They aren't just some cells but there is a person attached to those cells and getting to know about her and her family has been fascinating! I'll let you know more when I finish the book! So I guess just because a book is in a section you wouldn't normally gravitate towards doesn't mean you shouldn't give it a fair shake! I'd love to know if anyone has read this or is reading this!

I found this clip about the book. I even heard that Oprah is making a movie of this. Should be interesting. At least no expenses shall be spared since she has more money than God.
Please turn off music before playing.


Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Am I too young to go to the Nursing Home?

All I have to say, is if this is what arts and crafts looks like at the Nursing Home, then I'm not waiting, I'm running so I can get me a spot!

Happy Hump Day!


No Phone Call Is Worth It!