Yesterday my 10 year old son came flying through the door yelling, "mom, we watched THE movie!" I was still trying to come off my high of being alone for the past 7 hours, so switching gears and realizing that within minutes the neighborhood boys would come knocking at my door was a little hard to do. Hasn't anyone gotten the memo that I don't like kids?
THE movie, what was he talking about? I vaguely remember that letter he brought home talking about THE movie and when he would be watching it, but I'm sure something else like the dog throwing up needed immediate attention so to the....Forget It Til Later Pile the letter went in hopes it would become nighttime reading. I didn't realize yesterday would be the day!
Oh crap, do I have time to fix myself a drink? I don't think I'm ready for this. He said mom, "I'm gonna start to smell so I need to shower everyday and wear deodorant!" How do you keep a straight face when your kid seems so proud that he will stink? He also started talking about his testicles and how big they will get, oh god I can't wait to hear 5, 1o year olds sitting in the basement having that discussion!
James then said, "Mom, do you know what they have to do to the girls
privates?" Hold on to your seats hear gals, God knows I was sitting at this point! He said, "they have to take this thing and clean them out!" "What!" "What are they teaching you?" If I could have had a shot of something strong I sure would have. I said, "James wait, what exactly are you saying?" He said, "I don't know, they need to flush them out because they smell or something." "Ok, do you think you heard the word douche?" "Oh, yea thats what they said!" "Mom, do you do that?" Why me, really Lord why me? "No James, I don't, and in my opinion I don't think it is necessary or safe. I told James I didn't want him to think that girls smell or needed to be flushed out so please don't give it another thought. Its a good thing he is such a boy because he just jumped up and said, "I'm starving!" I said, "oh good, hope no one minds if I have a drink, its 5 o'clock somewhere!
So, just another day in the life of our family, so, how was your day?