Non-Stop Flight!

On a plane flight from Seattle to Chicago, a blonde was sitting in economy class. About half way through the flight, she got up and moved to an empty seat in first class. A flight attendant who observed this, went over to her and politely explained that she had to move back to economy class because that was what her ticket was for. The blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Chicago and I'm staying right here."

After several attempts to explain to the blonde why she had to return to economy class, the flight attendant gave up. She went to the cockpit and explained the situation to the pilot and co-pilot. The co-pilot said, "Let me try." He went up to the blonde and politely tried to explain to her why she needed to return to her seat in economy class.

But the blonde only replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Chicago and I'm staying right here." Frustrated, the co-pilot returned to the cockpit. He suggested that perhaps they should have the airline call the police and have her arrested when they land.

"Wait a minute," said the pilot. "Did you say she's blonde? I can handle this. My wife is a blonde. I speak Blonde." So he went up to the woman sitting in first class and whispered something in her ear.

"I'm sorry," said the blonde, and she promptly got up and returned to her seat in economy class.

"What did you say to her?" ask the astonished flight attendant and co-pilot.

To which the pilot replied, "I just told her that first class isn't going to Chicago."

Keep your fingers crossed that my children make it. My son already crossed the line and referred to my breasts as melons! Love him but what a smart-ass!

Megan

So, I'm thinking of a new car!

My husband wants to get me a new car, but I keep telling him my Hilander works fine.

Why do I need a new one? I just need something that goes from A to B and back to A again. Am I right?

So what would happen if I told him I wanted this...................

I mean if I can't be Martha, shouldn't I at least drive a car that screams Martha!

Enjoy the night!

Megan

Does God ever give people anything they can't handle?

We've all heard the saying "God will never give us more than we can handle", but is that really true? What about all the people who have suffered through famine, hurricanes, Tsunami, or earthquakes, did God think they were the right people for those situations? Because I would say those are just the things that people can't handle! Are these horrible things that happen (more often then I would like to read about) a testimony to how these people are living their lives? Do these things happen for us to question how we are living our life?

I can't and won't believe that to be true. I would say that for those that aren't directly affected it gives us great sadness for those suffering and makes us appreciate our lives more. Good people suffer just like bad people and that's a fact.

It's only Wednesday and already its been kind of a doozy. I think hearing the news of my friend being diagnosed with breast cancer, finding out my mom's good friend passed away at 57 and almost identical to how my mother passed away and now my sister finding a lump on her breast makes me think how precious life really is and how fast things can change.

I think when you have experienced extreme pain in your life you question if there is a God, I know I did. When my mother died I never knew there could ever be pain like that. Even after 8 years it doesn't get any easier. I think your mind has a different way of dealing with each day. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of my mother or of how our lives would be if she were still here. It hurts, it hurts like hell. No one can tell you how if feels because we all experience pain differently.

My girlfriend had surgery yesterday morning and from what I understand the operation went well. Right now no news is good news. My sister went in and had an ultrasound. The spot that she is worried about didn't show up on the ultrasound. It might just mean calcification on her breast which could mean just that. They want her to come back in about a month and have another ultrasound and mammogram. For now we thank God there wasn't anything and just keep on keeping on!

Yesterday I called up a friend that works in Mammography and asked if she would like to see my breasts. We both laughed but I filled her in on events happening around me and she said to come on in.

I won't know anything for a week but I'm not worried. Why? I guess its because I believe in God. Even though I am still trying to figure out the reason my mother had to have Cancer and die so young I can't be mad at the big guy upstairs. I know she wouldn't want me to be.

I'm into quotes lately but have no idea who said this one. It just makes sense.

God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, nor sun without rain. But he did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears and light for the way.

Thank you to everyone who sent prayers for my friend and if you could throw in a few for my sister and my mother's friends two boys, I would really appreciate it!

Megan

Life Can Throw A Mean Curveball!

I found out over the weekend that a girlfriend has breast cancer. I know that before the phone call came I was bitching and complaining about why we have so much shit in our house! It is truly amazing how one can be going on about nonsense stuff while another is dealing with her fate and what kind of impact this will have on her children. When she called me, she asked if I was busy and I chuckled because I was hoping to get out of my little hell hole (yes folks I'm still dealing with the chaos of the basement) She asked if we could talk so I walked upstairs jokingly saying, "So is it the good, the bad or the ugly?" She with a nervous chuckle said, "pretty much the ugly!"

She proceeded to tell me of her diagnosis and that they found it in the early stages. In fact, they described it as a cluster of little grains of salt. She wanted to find out what I would do in this situation and wondered why she would go straight to the surgeon and not go to an Oncologist first. Now my husband is a surgeon so I am quite familiar with the steps that you go through after being diagnosed. A huge portion of his practice is dealing with breast cancer. I told her I'd go straight to the surgeon because he (there are only men) would be the one that goes in and cuts it out. Then after that is done you go to the Oncologist to discuss if further treatment like radiation or chemo is necessary.

I told her that absolutely if this were me I would have no problems having them go and lop off my girlfriends. Hell, they are huge and in the way most of the time. I'm just not attached to them and my husband sees so many boobs during a day, I don't think he looks at mine like he use to. I understand that by removing them doesn't mean that I'd be in the clear but it would be a chance I would be willing to take.

I have a lot of hope for her. She is a very strong and amazing person. She, just like me she is a glass is half full kinda gal! We don't have the time to take the energy and be all negative, what does that do for anyone? I will be by her side and will do anything I can to help her get through this. I know she would do the same for me.

If you wouldn't mind saying a few prayers for my friend, she goes in and sees the surgeon today. She won't be seeing my husband but a partner of his. My husband did call her last night to ease her mind and answer any questions she had. I am so thankful I have him and I know she felt better after talking to him.

We are having some more flurries today, gotta love the Midwest! Enjoy your Monday!

Megan

Important Words To Live By!

"For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself and the other for helping others."

~ Audrey Hepburn

I hope for those hit hard by weather, you are safe and staying warm and those that are fortunate to see the sun, appreciate the warmth it gives you!

Happy Weekend my friends!

Megan

Tag.....I'm It!

I was tagged the other day by Confessions of a Mad Housewife. Apparently I am to take a quiz. Oh she doesn't know the pressure she has put on me. I have a little test anxiety here people. Maybe even a little performance anxiety. Oh wait, I'm good in that department, lol!

Oh lets move on shall we!

1. If you have pets, do you see them merely as animals or are they members of the family?

Well lets think about this one. We have had so many little critters and all the things I have had to do for some of them would make your skin crawl! You see, I didn't ask for any of them. I was pretty much out-voted when it came time to purchase most of them. Ok so maybe when this guy was a puppy his eyes were hard not to fall in love with but this next little tid bit makes me rethink all those warm fuzzy feelings!

I once had to basically help this guy with his bowel movement one day because it decided it didn't want to come out. It just hung there hanging on for dear life. Poor guy rang around chasing his ass trying to figure out what was touching him and wondered what hurt like hell! So if you had told me when he was a puppy I would have to extricate on his ass then I would have said no thanks! Can you imagine literally pulling out a big golf ball size turd out of your dog? Not my idea of a fun afternoon I tell you and this dog can squeal like a baby!

And I know, I know he needs a toenail trim. So, who wants to come over and do it? He's a total shit when we try!

And how about this gal? If I let her outside she could potentially get lost in one of our huge snowdrifts and then freeze to death.

So what do I do all day long? I follow her around with a potty pad so she doesn't decide to pee or worse poop on my furniture. Instead she teases me with her little boot scooting tush scooting all over the house! God give me strength!

Last night we had to semi bury our bearded dragon. She had been sick for a little while. My husband says its because I didn't remember to feed her. Hell, I have a hard time remembering to feed my real kids, don't throw a lizard in the mix. I say semi bury because the ground is too frozen to dig a grave, so we had to set her outside in a bag. Now please oh please don't send me hate mail about how in-humane I am. I don't even want to hear it. I actually went in to check on her on Monday night because my son had said she died. I prepared myself for going into her cage and pulling her out.

I reached in and grabbed her tail and started to pull her up and what do you think happens next? The dam thing decides to open her eyes and move her claws on me! Well holy shit she is still alive. I ran downstairs to get some peas because ha Jim I do have a heart. She loves peas.

I set some in a bowl and let her eat a few. We then gave her a hot bath. I had no idea we were giving her her last meal. Her last hoorah if you will! The next day she had passed.

So, do I consider these animals part of the family, I guess so. I think its hard to not get used to or have feelings for things that growl, bark, lick, drool, poop, pee, and occasionally vomit around or on you. Now we were just talking about my kids weren't we? BA HA HA

Yes Theo our Corgi and Jasmine our chihuahua and even our bearded dragon Trayeu (RIP) are part of the family!

2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?

I should first say, if I do dream I never ever remember them honest. My husband has some wacko dreams and then he and a friend are always trying to figure out what they really mean. I guess I must really sleep because I've got all my shit together and I don't need to work it out while I sleep. Ha, Ha, do you really think that? Well you shouldn't.

I would definitely say the day-dream I always have is to have my mother still alive and she and I open up that little boutique of we always talked about!

3. What is one thing most hated by you?

Wow only picking one is hard. I would have to say I hate it when you run into people and they say, "Oh, we should really get together sometime!" Uh, no we shouldn't! Don't you think that is why we haven't by now? Just don't throw me the BS line.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?

I'm pretty sure my answer is some of the same as you Mad Housewife. Pay off my husband's student loans and any debt that we have. Help my sister who is single with a 14 year old. Take care of other family members and their debt. Totally make sure my kids are set for college and their future. As much as my hubby doesn't want to hear this, I would not let him quit his job but I would let him go on more Safari's and have a special house for all his animals!

5. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?

Chocolate, sex and drugs! No, never, gosh no! Ok, you got me, just hand over the CHOCOLATE!

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?

Wow, so hard, but I'm going to say to be loved by someone. Imagine dying and not feeling truly loved by someone? I'm not talking a lover but someone, a parent a child! I feel truly blessed to know that my mother died being loved and loving all of us!

7. What is your bedtime routine?

I have always been a night owl but that has changed, hey I'm getting older! Lets see, if we get the kids in bed at a normal time, then I finish dishes, wash my face, maybe a scary mud mask for me, gotta spice up the nightlife you know. I then brush my teeth and always floss, always! I crawl in around 10:30 and watch the news with my husband or American Pickers, love that show! I am addicted to my I-Pad so I then start reading all of your blogs!

8. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your partner?

I haven't told this story to anyone. Well ok maybe a few, so you are in for a treat!

It was December 30, 1989 and I was 18. I went to a party with some girlfriends to actually meet another guy. When we got there, he took one look at my friend and her boobs and decided he wasn't interested in me. Well buddy if you could see my girlfriends now, wink wink, and they are all natural. Ha, I think I just threw up in my mouth. Or as my daughter says, "Mommy I just had a little baby barf!" Anyhoo, I immediately went over to a gal who was drinking champagne and she handed me my own bottle. I think she was having the same kind of night as I was so we bonded! I drank a fair share if not the whole bottle and noticed this guy dancing. He seemed pretty cute, and I said, "hmmm why not". We started dancing and talking. By that time the room was spinning and it was hot. We made it outside and talked some more and then he leaned in to kiss me. I told him he shouldn't do that. He leaned in again and I said, "I wouldn't do that........barf! Yup, I did. I barfed right on the ground. Hey buddy, I told you not to get any closer! I have to say what a sweet guy he was. He walked me into the bathroom and actually held my hair back.

We left the party, with me thinking what an IDIOT I was! I hoped but then figured I'd never see him again. I mean come on, I practically puked in his mouth. Well the next night I went to another party. Let me set the record straight. I never went out. I think these 2 times were the only times the whole year. So at this next party, who do I see, but Jim! He was just walking out of the party as I was walking in. He asked how I was feeling and we chit chatted a few minutes. He asked if I remembered his name and truthfully I didn't. Now that is not entirely true. I did remember that his last name was the name of a bird. So I said, "well its a bird, its a plane!" No, I said bird right? He said yes it's Partridge. I'm pretty sure I got points for that one because 2 weeks later he called me and asked if he could cook me dinner. And that was the start of a 3 year courting if you will. We married 3 years almost to the day we met. We married on December 29, 1992!

9. If you could watch a creative person in the act of the creative process, who would it be?

Now I'm gonna pick real people here. As I said in my last post Pamela from "Be Colorful" is so talented, I would love to sit and watch her in the act. Also Jen from Noodle and Lou, wow you should see her pieces. I actually purchased a few of her ladies in bikinis and here they are!

I can't wait until the weather is warmer to display them. They may freeze their little tushes off if I put them out in this weather! Please stop on over and check out both of their amazing pieces!

10. What kind of books do you read?

I read a lot of everything. I probably gravitate towards fiction more than anything. I love anything by Jodi Picoult. I'm currently reading her book House Rules. I loved all of Cecelia Ahern's books. She wrote P.S. I love you! The book was fabulous but such a disappointment when it was made into a movie because too many key things were left out. One of my all time favorite books was The Help by Kathryn Stockett. So, so amazing and a must read! I could keep going on but that would be a never ending post!

11. What's your fear?

I guess I fear leaving this earth and not making a mark on it! I want people to remember me for something and I'm still trying to figure out what that something is!

12. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of life for the opportunity to visit outer space?

Hell no! Remember how I talked in the last post about being afraid of heights well duh, space is way up there! Not interested, plus I like junk food too much!

13. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?

Well since I'm married to my one true love, I'd say married and poor!

14. What's the first thing you do when you wake up?

Ha, scream out, "Do I have to?" and then I roll out of bed and make the coffee! I'm still trying to devise a way to just hook the iv up from the bed!

15. If you could change one thing about your spouse/partner what would it be?

To get it through his thick skull that after all these years I still hate feet and quit trying to play footsie with me already!

16. If you could pick a new name for yourself what would it be?

Quinn it means to counsel! Boy have I given a lot of advice to people over the years. Whether they have taken it or not is another story!

17. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done?

As much as I love my husband, I could never forget or forgive if he cheated on me. You are outta here, I don't care how sorry you are!

18. If you could only eat one thing in the next six months what would it be?

bread- so many kinds yum!

So now its my turn to play tag with a few other unsuspected but I hope willing participants!

Sarah at Mommy Lite

Stephanie at La Dolce Vita

Sabrina at Sabby In Suburbia

Miss Givens at Trend Wisely

Megan

Thank you Pamela from "Be Colorful"

Pamela from "Be Colorful" sent this beauty to me on Friday. I would have posted sooner but I had a sick kid and busy weekend! We went to see Riverdance and it was wonderful!

Well how cool is this award? Well for starters, its cool because it is from Pamela and she is so amazing. I do hope you go over and check out her blog. She is such a talented artist and I'll bet she is never without a paintbrush in hand. I often drool over her many gorgeous pieces and her studio is to die for! I would love to walk in there and have some of her talent and inspiration seep into my pores. I keep thinking one of these days I will commission her to do a piece for me. She has these wonderful painted chair pictures that I would kill for. I am lucky to say she only lives a couple hours away from me. Don't worry Pam, I won't bring a weapon, lol! Although we have never met in person, I feel a connection with her. Isn't this blog world awesome?

This award requires you to list seven interesting things about yourself and link back to the one that awarded you. Now I don't know how interesting they are, but they are about me and this is what this post is about, Me. So I hope you enjoy 7 more things about Moi!

1. I am obsessed with popcorn! I am, I love it!

If I know I am going to a movie I won't eat anything all day, just so I won't feel guilty when I order the tub.

I think if I could do this the next time I am at the theatre I would!

I don't just like movie popcorn, oh no!

I love plain, cheese, caramel, candy coated, chocolate covered.

I guess it could be because when I was just finishing high school I worked at a popcorn shop.

I basically made popcorn and then throughout the day I bagged several different flavors in bags or canisters we sold. I never tire of that smell.

I remember one day a man came in to the shop. He walked up to the counter and set his bag down. I walked over and asked if I could help him. While he was deciding on what to order, I looked down just to see what was in his bag. What can I say, I was curious! I then proceeded to say, "Hey I like your nuts!" He said, "what?" I got a little flustered and said, "your sack" and pointed basically where his sack was and he said, "excuse me?" By that time we were all tripping over our words and well, I was trying to remove my foot from my mouth. You see people, he had a big bag of mixed nuts and I was kinda hungry and obviously not thinking and I didn't think anything of me complimenting a man on his sack of nuts!

Yep true story and its all mine! I know you are all jealous!

2. I am terribly afraid of heights! You'll never catch me on a Ferris wheel or a roller coaster, no

way no how!

Lisa and Bart don't even like the Ferris Wheel!

I think this is what I would look like on a roller coaster and I'm not talking about the girls! If I were on that episode of The Bachelor where Brad said they were going to scale a wall to get to their dinner date, then I would say, "Oh buddy, you are so not worth it!"

3. I would never be on the Bachelor!

I thought I would throw that one in because of the above mentioned. I just don't get how these women or men for that matter think to put themselves in that kind of situation.

I wish that this gal would have just slapped him and then gotten back in the car. And said, "Oh no, I had no intention of staying, that's all I came for!" It was so awesome of her to do that!

I find these girls and I mean girls to be extremely pathetic when they don't get a rose and they end up falling apart saying, "I came here to find a husband, I thought Brad knew I was committed to this!" This gal said, "I hope my parents are proud of how they raised me!" Really will they be proud that you are on national t.v. and crying over some guy?

Can you say barf and double barf with a capital B! I have to say I watch it just to get a good dose of laughter and make sure I remember to tell my daughter to never throw herself at a guy, they aren't worth it!

4. I talk to everyone. If its the guy filling up my car (only once it was negative 8 and I did tip well), the gal at the target check out, or the guy at Goodwill.

I believe everyone has a story to tell and they just need that one person who will listen! I overheard a women at Target (she was one of the check-out gals) tell some people she knew in front of me that her husband just passed away. They left the lane and it was my turn. No one was behind me so I said "I didn't mean to eavesdrop but I did hear you say your husband just passed away and I am so sorry for your loss!" She looked at me and took a deep breath, then proceeded to cry and then tell me all about him. The story gets worse because he actually killed himself. She thanked me and said, "I haven't told many people what happened and it feels good to talk about it!'' I believe customer service is not what it use to be, but did you ever think that they are not the only ones responsible? Maybe if we would all give that check out gal a smile it might be that first step to changing your whole encounter and making someone's day!

5. I'm a lamp lover. You know how some people love shoes, well I love lamps more. I have 5 lamps in my living room and 3 in the kitchen. It might sound strange but my rooms are large and I still don't think there is enough light! Maybe I should put as one of my 7 things about me is that I am crazy!

6. I have 2 kids but I really don't like kids! I said it, I did! I know it might sound awful and crazy, I mean I love mine and most of the time I like them, I really do. But its all the other ones! I will volunteer in my daughters classroom and I can't figure out how her teacher does it. I can't even keep track of what two kids are saying to me let alone 24!

I just don't understand them and the noise they make. All the moving around, eating with their mouths open and putting their hands in places I don't even want to think about. I have to remind my daughter she must go and use the antibacterial several times a day and if she sees a kid picking or digging she can refuse to hold their hand. Am I right or am I right? If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes then it might not have come up! And you think babies and toddlers make noise. Oh my gosh! My 11 year old boy can just be sitting at the table and all of a sudden he is cracking his knuckles, singing some rap song he made up, bouncing his leg up and down, then switching to opera singing, talking with an Australian accent, moving his feet like windshield wipers, singing the deliverance tune Ba-da-ding-ding-ding-ding and burping the alphabet. And all of that is within a span of 5 minutes! And don't even get me started on how much my 6 year old can talk and bounce. I could go on but I won't! That ladies and gentlemen is why I drink!

7. I think I have ADD! No joke. I start a project and get so distracted, that I forget I've began one and then go on to another one. My house looks worse than when I started. I think its because I am a mother and having kids just sucks your memory and patience right out of you. Remember that black hole I referred to over here at Tatted Mom? Well I'm pretty sure that right when the baby comes down the shoot, your memory gets lost out in that black hole floating among other things?

Now I think the best part of receiving this wonderful award is I get to pass it on to ten other bloggers!

This is the hard part though! I have met so many wonderful deserving people that it gets hard to pick just 10. I'll give it a go and I hope you can check them out as well. They are some wonderful women I think you will all enjoy!

In no particular order:

1. Mel at Junkin' Junky

2. Karyn at Hope Island Home and Living

3. Amber at Goodnight Moon

4. Karyn of Karyn Climans

5. Ann at Calamity Anne's Adventures

6. Deborah at Apples in Wonderland

7. Robin at All Things Heart & Home

8. Alyssa at Adventures of The Stay at Home Mom

9. Jenny at Nucking Futs Mama

10. Mel at The Larson Lingo

Well there you have it! 10 amazing blogs! Some of them you might already know and some I hope you will be glad you were introduced to!

It's snowing again here in Iowa and windy. Not a fun combination but the kids didn't have a snow day! Whoo, hoooooooo! Can you tell how excited that makes me?

Hope your Tuesday is wonderful!

Megan