2. Yell at her for boot scooting across the carpet and think to yourself she has no idea why you're yelling!
3. Decide after watching her drag her ass across the floor one too many times, to get up and investigate.
4. Lift her tail and yell, "Holy Shit!" Because pardon the pun, that is exactly what was there!
5. Yell more expletives because you had to discover it, but wonder if your husband saw it first and chose to ignore it!
6. Get nauseous at the thought that she was in your bed last night and you slept with that!
7. Put her on the table (except if it's where your husband eats, don't worry, lots and lots of paper first) to see how bad it truly is!
8. Realize this is something you really won't be able to do without totally puking!
9. Call the vet and explain you aren't quite sure if your dog is impacted or just matted with shit!
10. Make an appointment for an hour from the time you called and decide to lock her in the big dog's crate, just so you can preserve your couch and your sanity!
11. Get the courage to put the dog in the tub and see if there is a way through the matted jungle while holding your breakfast down!
12. Wish that you had found a nose plug and gloves before taking on this Dirty Job!
13. Yell more expletives, but this time at the husband!
14. Raise your hand to wipe the sweat from your brow and leave a little dollop of excrement, unbeknowest to you
15. Forget to check yourself in the mirror before answering the door because of said dollop and again yell, "Holy Shit!"
After living and surviving this day, I hope to never have a repeat like this one, on any other day of the week!
Here's to a poop free day tomorrow, and the next and the next and the next
P.S. For some reason, oh yes, too much poop clogging the ole mind. I have managed to