Friday, December 3, 2010

I smell and it's a gift!

Well I don't think I do, gimme a minute and I'll check.........nope all good in the smell department! What I mean is I have a keen sense of smell to all things around me. I'm like a blood hound.

I find myself literally walking around the house with my nose either up in the air or I'm down on all fours searching for the culprit. My family thinks I'm crazy and I'm cool with that. My poor kiddos. If I think I smell poop I yell out, "somebody better be in a bathroom, and turn on the fan will you?" I forget and even yell that when friends are here. I don't think any of them will step foot into my bathroom. I admit I even find myself sniffing when I'm out in public. Don't worry I have yet to do the all fours thing because even I would wonder if I needed to check myself in.

The other day I was in Hobby Lobster and I happened to walk down an aisle that someone had so sweetly sprayed with their scent. Come on people we aren't dogs, so there is no need to mark your territory. I'm not interested. As I approached the said aisle I happened to take a look at the gal who was leaving it. I kinda shook it off and continued shopping. I had a hard time concentrating, wondering if the odor was coming from her or God forbid was it me? Did I remember to shower? Yes its a reaccurring thing not remembering if I showered or not! So, let me think here. There was coffee, kids on bus, coffee, blogging, coffee and yes a shower. Whew, it's not me! I started my sniffing thinking oh great is there a gas leak or a sewer pipe break? I started walking down the aisle and the gal that I saw leaving before was back. I thought ok, before I search the store and then find the manager I'm gonna wait another minute and see if it was this gal. I was just about to reach for something off the shelf when I hit the floor. It sounded like I was being shot at but miraculously didn't feel any pain. Did I get hit, is there blood? Shocking to say this but the gal fired a machine gun out of her ass and she was where the smell was coming from. Holy Hell, did she really just let one rip? Oh honey, you might need to go and check your pants, I think you might have a present in there?

She happened to notice me crouched on the floor and as I looked up she said, "what?" In that valley girl I'm as dumb as a head of lettuce tone! If it were summer, my mouth would have drawn a whole army of flies it was open so wide! I just looked at her and said, "I know a doctor that can help you with that? Dam do I feel sorry for the person who sleeps with her at night!

Well thank God my comment flew right over her like a stealth fighter plane! I really didn't want to refer my husband or any of his colleagues to tackle her problems!

I was very happy that one of my favorite stores wasn't going to be exploding from a gas leak any time soon, well not a city gas leak that is!

Happy Friday to you all and remember take cover, you never know what you might be hit with!


Jillian said...

normally I would say a keen sense of smell is a good thing to have---maybe not in this case. ;)

Diana Mieczan said... always have the funniest stories
Happy Friday, my dear

Mrs. Tuna said...

Sometimes I come home from work and there is a mystery smell, I've convinced it's because the air conditioning is off all day and the garbage is getting ripe. But in a sad way, maybe it really does smell and I just get used to it. God I hope not.

Carolynn said...

This post is too funny!!!! I have to have my husband read it, as he says "bathroom humor is always funny"! Thanks making me smile :)!

Tattedmom said...


I know why I keep coming back to your blog!


Sandra said...

OMG the visual of this is killing me! Bloodhound, I'll say!

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Jami said...

OMG. This is unbelievable. Some people have no shame. It's good that you can think on your feet because I don't think I could have said anything after that! LOL

Alex said...

Posts like this one is why I keep reading your blog..

Urban Farmgirl said...

Ok girl, I think you asked me about the Paris Street sign I was going to be putting on Etsy. It's up...take a look and reminisce! Lol! ;o)


Mom Daughter Style said...

very nice blog

Beatnheart said...

Hi Megan, I too have an overdeveloped sense of smell and if someone near me has on too much perfume or heaven forbid the similar odors that you mentioned I go crazy with wanting to tell them. Good for you to have the guts to go ahead and do it. Thank you so much for dropping by my blog and entering my GIVEAWAY. good luck to you on Dec. 10th.

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