Look who is 11 today!

It was eve of the millennium, 11 years ago today (at exactly 11:00 pm.) that we welcomed James into this world. Let me just say he has changed our world, upside down, sideways and even a little backwards but it's all been for the good, well most of it! As I sit here typing this, there are 4 screaming boys having a Nerf gun war in my basement. You see, we no longer celebrate New Year's Eve like other grown-ups do. I use to hate it but at the moment I can say I'm cool with it. It could be that the wine is kicking in and or that I've locked the door to the basement, muhahahaha! My husband has escaped with Claire to the movies, oh what a lucky guy he is!

So on to the birth! I was actually due on Christmas, so when Christmas came and went and no baby I prayed it wouldn't be much longer. I was feeling like a beached whale and I have the pictures to prove it. No, you won't be seeing any of those, ha ha ha! So, when the morning of the 31st came I woke up early. I guess I was starting to feel my motherly instincts because I knew the baby was going to come. I think it was about 4:00 a.m. that I woke my husband up. He flew out of bed asking if I was ok!

Jim was in residency back then so he had probably just climbed in when I woke him, the poor thing! I told him I was pretty sure my mucus plug had unleashed itself and if any of you have seen what a mucus plug is then you know you are either going to have a baby or quite possibly an alien!

I just gotta say wow, I can still still see it, like it was yesterday. It's just one of those things you don't ever forget! I remember when my sister in-law called thinking she had lost hers I laughed. She was due with her first child so she was clueless. When I described it to her, she was utterly and completely horrified that something of that nature could come out of you. I think at that point she was ok with keeping it in and the baby for that matter.

Back to my story! Once we got through the Minnesota snow to the hospital, we both breathed a sigh of relief that we made it there safely and that we would soon hold a little one in our arms. Wow, did that nurse know how to deflate our spirits. She said, "nope you aren't ready, go home and come back later! Later, we don't have later. Jim needed to have this baby or he had to get back to work, he wasn't going to get time off unless there was a reason. So we started thinking of what to do. We ended up driving around and went back to the hospital about 9:00 o'clock. By that time I was having a contraction so they had to admit me, right?

Well, they said no again. I think the whole Clinic was freaked out about the thought of the end of the world that people had taken off work or were out "sick" so they were way understaffed. They did not want me there unless I really needed to be there! The nurse suggested we get over to the mall and start walking to get this baby moving. So off to the mall we went.

This baby was starting off on the wrong foot. He was being a little too stubborn for our liking and wouldn't budge an inch. We walked and we walked and we walked and then finally contractions started. They started off slow and then I think it was on our 17th lap around the mall (we were really booking by that time. I think the regular mall walkers were getting upset with us. We were making them look bad) was when they finally kicked in. We would walk a few steps then stop and I'd have to lean and breathe against the wall. Then walk 2 more steps and then lean again. We eventually bumped into a few people we knew and man are some people clueless. They started to approach us and I had to shoot them daggers with my eyes letting them know I was not approachable. Jim was thinking that at any moment an exorcism would have to be performed right there in the mall. He was afraid of what those contractions were doing to me!

Let's just say that all that walking and maybe even a bean burrito did the trick. They admitted us into the hospital and we thought, whew smooth sailing from here on out! Ha, who were we kidding! Jump forward many hours and they sent two nurses home for getting stuck with needles and my doctor was no where to be seen. It had been a while since I was checked on so, yup that's where my husband jumps in. Jim put some gloves on because I said, "Holy Hell, its time, I have to push!"

Thank God for Jim and his training. When you have to push, there isn't anything that can stop you! I wasn't going to wait for Jim to find a nurse, I couldn't! After a while of pushing a nurse had walked by the room and then immediately came back in because she saw Jim hunched over and thought what, who, oh shit!

Immediately into our room came a flurry of nurses, residents and believe I even saw a cleaning guy do a little moping around my bed. I hoped that with all the chaos of the room James would show some balls and decide to pop out at that time! The resident seemed to have no clue how to get James' shoulders out, so she grabbed James' head and started pulling. Jim about threw her to the floor but instead pushed her chair over with his foot and got back in there and I mean "really" in there. He unhooked the shoulder and flipped the kid around all while yelling many profanities at her. There was so much craziness going on in that room that I'll be honest, I'm not exactly sure who delivered the baby! I just hope the cleaning guy put some gloves on!

Here are some pics of James.

I miss my little guy but am happy to say that he has grown into a sweet, kind, intelligent and terribly witty 11 year old!

Happy Birthday James!

Love Mom

Happy New Year to you all, may 2011 bring many blessings!

Well-Known Mom Sayings!

Since the kids are on Christmas break I'm pretty sure I've said each one of these at least 3 times! How many more days until they go back? Help!

• Are you deaf or something?
• It's like I'm talking to a brick wall!
• As long as you live under my roof, you'll do as I say.
• Call me when you get there, just so I know you're okay.
• Did you brush your teeth?
• Do you think your socks are going to pick themselves up?
• Don't go out with a wet head, you'll catch cold.
• Don't make me get up!
• Don't sit too close to the television, it'll ruin your eyes.
• Turn that down, you're gonna be deaf!
• I didn't ask who put it there, I said "Pick it up!"
• I can't wait for you to have children just like you.
• I'm not your cleaning lady!
• Look at me when I'm talking to you.
• Money does NOT grow on trees.
• No child of MINE would do something like that.
• Nobody asked you.
• Put that down! You don't know where it's been!
• Someone is going to end up crying.
• There's enough dirt in those ears to grow potatoes!
• Watch your mouth!
• What did I say the FIRST time?
• What part of NO don't you understand?
• When I was a little girl...
• Close your mouth when you eat!
• When I was your age.....
• Who died and left you boss?
• Who taught you THAT? You didn't learn that in this house!
• You can't find it? Well, if you'd put things where they belonged, you wouldn't have this problem.
• You won't be happy until you break that, will you?
• Your father is going to hear about this when HE gets home!
• Some day you will thank me for this. SMACK!!!
• If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all
• How can you have nothing to wear? Your closet is FULL of clothes!
• Don't use that tone with me!

Thanks for all the Anniversary Wishes yesterday! Jim was on call last night so I celebrated by taking my kiddos and my son's friend to Perkins for dinner and the bookstore! Now, do I know how to celebrate or what?

18 years ago today........

on a snowy December night, I walked down the aisle with this fella! I cannot believe it has been 18 years that we have been married and 21 years altogether! Since we just had Christmas, I wasn't even thinking of getting a gift for Jim, but I read somewhere on a blog (oh I wish I could give credit to which one) that penguins mate for life. I thought how perfect a symbolism for us! I mean Jim is dressed like a penguin here don't you think? And so far we have been mating for 18 years, so why not keep this mating thing going! It now makes perfect sense why we got married in the cold snowy month of December, lol. I think I am going to run out and see if I can find a penguin ornament (you know, ornaments are cheaper now) or something with a penguin on it. Like it or not sweetie we're stuck together! Actually we joke that no one out there would want to put up with either one of us so staying together it is, lol! I'm teasing of course, I can't think of anyone else I'd like to go through this world with! Here's to many more anniversaries! I Love you!

My face says, "Oh my gosh, we really got married!" I was 21, can you tell?

What's up with my helmet head I'm sporting? But hey, Jim's glasses were huge! They didn't seem that big back then!

I was talking through my teeth saying "Don't you dare try and smash that into my face!'

He always has girls around him, trying to make me jealous!

But this one has stolen his heart and I'm ok with that!

And this little guy is Jim's buddy! They do everything together. I can't believe he will be 11 on the 31st! Where does the time go!

BTW does anyone want to come over and watch the kiddos for us, remember my sitter issues and the other one is out of town until after the New Year! Just kidding, Jim is on call of course. So I am off to enjoy my anniversary with the kiddos but first some dishes need to be done and just for some shits and giggles I think I'll throw in a load of laundry. That's how I like to celebrate!

I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas!

I wish you all a Merry Holiday and Cheers to a White or Red Christmas!

Little Angel!

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the pre-Christmas pressure. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor.. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

You had no idea did you?

Hope you are all ready for Christmas! Merry Christmas Eve!

2nd chance, now what?

So here's the lowdown! Our "Kid" sitter because we don't have babies anymore and the kids don't think they need a "Baby" sitter, has gotten herself into a load of trouble. I love her and so do the kids. She really is fantastic with them and has been wonderful to our family. She helped us out so much this summer with taking the kids to the pool, gymnastics, library, friends houses and pretty much anything else I asked of her.

In July she turned 21 and you all know what that means. Now I don't get the big deal with turning 21. I was 21 when I got married and just wasn't a big drinker. It was never something that I had to do. As I sit hear typing I know the reason I drink now, is because of the kids screaming and fighting and annoying the hell out of me. Hmmm, is it too early to have a drink? Claire is blaring her Justin Bieber and James is playing his make shift didgeridoo tube. They are trying to outplay the other. Help!

When the big day was approaching I remember sitting at the pool donning my cast and crutches and enjoying a little people watching. She was a little too giddy about her upcoming bar crawl. I just told her to be careful and not do anything stupid. She assured me she wouldn't. I told her no matter what time it was she could always call me or my husband and no questions asked. I just wanted her home safely. She said ok and not to worry. Well the big day came and went and she called to tell me about it. I really didn't want to know details I was just happy she got home safely. I believe it was a couple days later she went out again. She was hanging out at one of the campus bars and she remembered she needed to move her car before it was towed. Well I think she should have left it there or even paid the price of it being towed because what happened next was far worse!

As she was moving her car a cop saw her and stopped her. I'm not sure if she was doing anything that warranted her being stopped but in campus town and it being some ungodly hour, I'm sure anything looks suspicious. He stopped her and had her do the Breathalyzer test and yup she was considered drunk. Since she was operating a vehicle she got a DUI. So, did she call me for help? No, of course not. I happened to text her the next morning to see if she wanted to meet the kids and I for breakfast. She was already scheduled to come over later that day and take the kids to the pool so I thought I would feed her first. She finally texted me back and said she couldn't because she was "in jail!" What!

I had a hard time eating with the kids because I was so distracted. I told her we would have to talk later because my kids are smart and I didn't need them to know what was going on. It turns out this was actually her second offense and because of that she ended up losing her license. I was shocked. I'll be honest, at this point I was being selfish and thought well crap now I have no sitter. But then I was mad because this shouldn't have happened.

I've always thought I was a good judge of character and I still think I am but I had no reason to think otherwise with her. She was Claire's gymnastics coach and working with kids I knew she would be good. She lost her license and had an enormous fine to pay which she is currently working towards paying off. She ended up quitting coaching which made us sad because she was so good and Claire was doing very well with her. But with not having a car she needed to find a job where it was within walking distance or on a bus route to school, work and back home. We stopped seeing her for a while because she was always working at her other job. I would often see if she wanted to sit for us because she has a soft spot in our family.

Fast forward to December and we had a holiday party to go to. I texted her to see if she wanted to sit for the kiddos. She was thrilled and the kids were even more thrilled. Now at this point James knows whats going on. He asks a lot of questions and we feel it is important to be honest with the kid. He was surprised and continued to ask many more questions. He was pretty bummed about it but knew that was why we hadn't seen her for a while.

Since she is still without a license, she asked if her roommate could come along. We said sure because the kids knew her and like her. The night went well for all of us. We came home and chatted about things and she informed me that she was going to jail. This was last Friday night. I said what does this all mean? She told me she was required to spend a week in jail as part of her sentencing but was allowed to be off for work release. She was doing some waitressing but could only get x amount of hours so she asked if I could use her? I said sure what do you need. She wanted to come and work at my house and do anything so she didn't have to spend so many hours in a jail cell. Hey, in my house there is always laundry and dishes to do, so sure! I just needed to fill out some paperwork and she would bring it over before she goes in on Thursday. I jokingly said, "please be good and don't eat any poppy seed muffins!" We all laughed. She left and came back over on the 16th. Since she was to check in at 11 p.m. she came over to our house about 10:15 for me to sign some papers. These papers were to document that she would in fact be working in my house on Tuesday and Thursday. I asked her what I needed to do when I got there? She said since I put my license plate on the paper, they would match that to my car and release her to me.

Tuesday morning comes and I get ready and off to jail I go. How many of you can say you did that? The jail is about about 20 minutes away. I get in before 10 and sit and wait. I remember laughing because Justin Bieber was playing on the radio. I swear I only listen to Justin, Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus because of Claire. I looked at the clock and it was 7 minutes after 10. I said oh what the hay I'm going in. I start walking up thinking this is so weird, I'm letting my sitter out of jail today, not sure I ever thought I'd be doing that! I walk through the entrance and not knowing exactly where I'm going, I ask a woman standing there where the jail is. She said, "well I just got out of jail, so go through that door!'' Geez where is she sending me? I see a lady on the phone behind a window. As I wait for her to get off the phone I look around. No one is in the waiting area but me. I notice the mirrored window and wonder what or who is on the other side staring at me. I get a little weirded out being there. The woman finally gets off the phone after it feels like an eternity. I proceed to tell her who I am and who I am there for. She calls someone in the back and they call back to let her know that she is not allowed out.

Hmmm, so what does that mean? One of the guards comes out and tells me that she did not pass a drug test! What, she didn't? How did this happened? I ask the guard if she has been released at all and he said no, since she didn't pass the test she was not allowed even to work. So she has been in since Thursday night. She didn't even think to let me know about this? Ok, I'm sure I was the last person in the world she was thinking of. I wasn't so bothered by the fact that I made a trip out there for nothing but I was upset with myself for thinking this was really going to knock some sense into her.

I left the jail angry and hurt. I pray she has an explanation for all this. Please tell me I can trust her again. I know I can't help everyone but I want to try with this one. I'm beginning to lose faith and she wasn't one I wanted to lose faith in! She is lost right now and I know she needs help! I just might not be the one that can do anything for her!

She gets out tonight and I'm just wondering if she will call or text me. I pray she will, if only to apologize.

What's my problem?

I'm feeling a little Bah Humbug lately! Yes a little bit like the Grinch. I haven't made any Christmas cookies with the kids or put together that gingerbread house I promised. It's not that I haven't enjoyed Christmas shopping or getting the house ready because I can't stop tweaking things around here. (Oh, by the way, the house is all clean and I'm caught up on laundry!) Don't get me wrong presents are wonderful and the kids are sure getting probably more than they need. I guess its because I feel that I'm not teaching the kids why we really celebrate Christmas. I know that I'm not the most religious person around but I think about it constantly. Unfortunately we are the family that doesn't go to church on Sunday, but I assure you we are not Heathens, I promise!

I was raised in a Catholic family and attended Catholic school from kindergarten through 12th grade. In fact in the third grade I thought I wanted to be a nun! Yes you read correctly. Crazy but true! We went to church every morning before school and on Sundays. Were we a strict Catholic family, no far from it! I can remember since we only lived a few blocks from Church, my mother would send my sisters and I to church on Sundays. Then when we got into high school we pretended to actually go to church. Horrible I know. We would leave the house and slip into church just so we could get a bulletin and then take a walk or go get donuts. We knew we had to have the bulletin as proof we went. My mother was a smart cookie, she probably knew all along.

My mother on the other hand preferred to go to a different church that wasn't actually our parish church. I think it was because she felt that so many people went to church to be seen and that wasn't why she went. My mother didn't actually like to sit in the pews either, she preferred to stand in the back of the church and listen. Many times the ushers would try and get her to a seat but my mother had a look that said, "I'd walk away from me if I were you"! When I think about that look my eyes well up, boy I miss that!

Mom passed away in 2002 and before she died she had said to me how important it was to her that I have another baby and for me to go to church. Its been 8 years and I did manage to have another baby but I still haven't figured out how to get myself to church. My problem, well I have many I do. Just ask my husband. I just can't figure out if I'm Catholic anymore. I have such strong ties to the Catholic religion but since my husband was raised Baptist, lets just say we have some heated conversations when it comes to religion!

Some of you may wonder well where did you get married? We had a non denominational pastor marry us, in what use to be a Catholic Church. Funny isn't it? Gorgeous church that was going to be torn down but since my father worked for the city, my having the wedding there actually saved the church. Apparently there were enough important people attending the wedding, and they realized how beautiful the church was, so they worked hard on keeping it from being torn down! Yea! Now in the eyes of the Catholic church we are not considered married, even though we are having our 18th wedding anniversary on the 29th of this month. I believe we are married and I think that was the first turn off from the Catholic church was not be recognized. What does that make our children? Are they considered bastards? Of course not. We are very much married and have 2 wonderful albeit pains in the ass at times children who are products of our marriage.

Wow I am sure running with the mouth aren't I? I always get this way at this same time every year. I think I am trying to figure out my life for the new year or just my life in general. I've been thinking long and hard on what my New Years resolutions will be. These are some of my plans for the new year:

~ To find a church. I want my kids to know God and talk about him. I think it will make us a closer family.

~ Find a job or start a business! I have enjoyed being a SAHM (ok not entirely) but now that my kids are 5th and 1st grade, I so need to find me. I will always be there for them but if Mom doesn't find a life, they won't want to live with me. I'm not sure if I'll want to live with me!

~ Get on a real exercise routine. My current routine is thinking about a routine and perfecting my hand to mouth coordination!

~ Gratitude Journal. My mother gave me the Simple Abundance Gratitude journal in 92 and I barely touched it. Maybe I never felt like I needed it until now, thanks Mom!

~ Thank you notes! I am the absolute worst at this. My mom is turning in her grave because she taught us or should I say hounded us to write thank you notes. I am going to get right on this and have my kiddos do the same and how wonderful that we can start with Christmas Thank-yous!

Thanks for putting up with my ramblings. Sometimes there is just so much that has to come out and hopefully it made sense. Whew I feel better! I just might go and make those cookies!

Have a great night!

No snow blower needed!

Who needs a snow blower when you have two hands and a shovel. I was going to town out there. I must have had a lot of built up aggression that I needed to aim somewhere. We had so much ice on our driveway that I couldn't even scoop it up without chiseling it first. Boy I think if the neighbors saw me they would think the cold was getting to me. I was out there cursing my husband for not doing it and just talking to myself. I was working up such a sweat that I didn't even need my coat on!

My husband thinks because he has a suburban he can go over anything. I knew I needed to attack the ice before we had anymore snow and since we live in Iowa there is always more snow!

I'm sure my back will be killing me later but for now I have a ton of energy and a ton of thoughts going on in my mind like.....

Why is it that my 10 year old son who is almost 11 (his birthday is on December 31st). Yes I know, I never knew "when" you had the baby was so important. We can never celebrate New Years the same. Anyway why with 10 days before Christmas does he change his mind on what he wants for Christmas. He came down this morning and said, "Mom, I will help you shovel this whole winter and play with Claire if I can have a Banjo for Christmas!'

If you thought you didn't read that correctly, he wants a Banjo for Christmas! What? Why? Help? I have no idea how he got on this kick but he is obsessed. Does anyone have a banjo lying around they aren't using? Please?

I guess he wants to be like Kermit, he loves him!

Did you know that Steve Martin plays the Banjo and he is really good! My son loves him too!

Take a peak at the video if you want to hear some good playing!

He did the same thing last year to us. I think it was actually 5 days before Christmas he asked us for a Didgeridoo. Does anyone know what that is? It is an Australian wind instrument developed by Indigenous Australians of northern Australia at least 1500 years ago...Play the video, you'll never hear anything like it!

We didn't actually purchase one for him, instead my husband made him one out of a long tube from the hardware store. It actually works and my son really has a blast with it! Sometimes I've had enough and if he ends up with a banjo I will feel like I am in that scene from the movie Deliverance. Boy was that kid good!

Something else has been bothering me. Some of you might remember my "Toxic" friend. Well she is moving out of town tomorrow. The feelings I have about it are indifferent really. I am not sad she is leaving because it was such an odd relationship, I'm just disappointed that I wasn't the bigger person and drop by her house and bring lunch to say goodbye. We kind of said it over the phone and it was weird. I am almost 40 years old. I shouldn't have "friends" in my life that make me uncomfortable or question myself. I wish her the best I do, but I don't think she is the happiest person. All she could seem to do was brag about how great her life will be and the schools her kids will be attending and how they will never be bored because there are things going on every weekend. Oh and did I mention the shopping? Well she did about 5 times. Well good, it sounds great if running from here to there is fun for you! Apparently she is the kind of person that "stuff" matters to her. I guess our relationship wasn't at the top of her list.

Onward and upward. I have a cookie exchange minus the cookies party tonight and I don't want to go. I feel like I am just another number that was invited. I don't hang out with these women and I often feel that I am an afterthought. I think I am happier staying home with the family watching a movie, reading or blogging. But yet I feel a little sad that I am that afterthought and that the relationships haven't managed to progress past that!

Oh crap, I'm sure my period is coming and that is why I am so emotional. My sister called while I was feeling weepy. I swear we know when we need each other the most, its a feeling we get.

Well I hear the bus, so the kiddos will be charging through the door at any moment and I will be bombarded with, so and so said this and can I go sledding? Off to be a mom!

Angel among us!

If you haven't seen this, please stop everything and do so now! I have watched this about 10 times and I cry every time. This man is truly an Angel here on earth and he makes me want to be a better person!

Turn off music at left before watching!

Now go do the right thing!

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly!

I thought I could show you fun Christmas projects that I have been working on but why tempt you with fantasy when I can show you reality! This my friends is what it really looks like around my abode! How you might ask did it get this way? I'll tell you it was good yesterday and then between the hours of 6 p.m. and 7:00 am the bomb dropped.

Claire's Room. That girl will pick out one outfit for school but change her mind and try 4 on before she gets out the door! And in the meantime she feels the need to set up her friends for a tea party!

My ten year old James does not know how to close drawers or put clothes away. See pile on floor? Well neither does Claire, I don't think her drawers were closed. I can't tell you how many times I have impaled myself while walking in his room! I yell at him to close those drawers and they still remain open!

Mad dash to find note for school in this pile of school papers! There will always be paper around and I hate paper!

Notice the elves. They jumped up and out of the way. They did not want to get in the line of fire!

So glad we have a craft closet so I can close the door at least when Claire is at school. It pretty much stays open because my budding artist is constantly creating something!

Piles of Claire's toys seem to find themselves either on our bed or at the foot of the bed. I bring them upstairs and they seem to find their way back down!

Forget having the pillows set up. Pillow fights seem to always happen and even a little guitar playing!

Dishes, do they ever go away? That and laundry I tell my family just walk around naked and drink out of the milk carton and eat right out of the fridge! Don't dirty another plate! Let me just say if people were naked and eating I think our world would be skinnier. Think about that for a second. If you were out dining and you sat down next to other naked people wouldn't you just lose your appetite? I'm just saying. Sorry I digressed!

Now you might wonder if I am embarrassed about this and I would have to say no. It's life and even if I clean it today which I will, its a vicious cycle that will continue day after day! I know what it can look like and enjoy it when it does! We see so many pretty pictures around blogland but that's because people just show the good ones. I'm sure we all live this way, please say we all live this way, don't we? Ok don't tell me you don't and you'd never because we cannot be friends if I know the truth. This is me love me or not, but I'm here to stay, messy house and all! Ok off to clean, enjoy your day!

Early Christmas presents!

My husband and kids came home from antiquing the other day and surprised me with a couple of things.

Look at this silver beauty! My daughter didn't want my husband to buy it, she said it was ugly. I love it! I love that it looks like it was hit by an ice storm. It feels like ice too, its surprisingly heavy! I think it works with my snowflakes that are hanging from my branches.

I also received these silver salt and pepper shakers and since my husband picked them out my daughter just thought I should have the roosters! Before I opened them up she said mom these are going to be your favorite! What do you think, are they me? Of course they are my favorite, they are from you! The picture I found for $5.00 at the GW. I swear I should start my own shopping business for people. Whatever you are looking for I'm your gal!

Well I'm off to bring my son's saxophone to school yet again. I think I reminded him 3 times this morning but here it sits! Boy is he lucky I am such an awesome mom!

Happy Tuesday!

I smell and it's a gift!

Well I don't think I do, gimme a minute and I'll check.........nope all good in the smell department! What I mean is I have a keen sense of smell to all things around me. I'm like a blood hound.

I find myself literally walking around the house with my nose either up in the air or I'm down on all fours searching for the culprit. My family thinks I'm crazy and I'm cool with that. My poor kiddos. If I think I smell poop I yell out, "somebody better be in a bathroom, and turn on the fan will you?" I forget and even yell that when friends are here. I don't think any of them will step foot into my bathroom. I admit I even find myself sniffing when I'm out in public. Don't worry I have yet to do the all fours thing because even I would wonder if I needed to check myself in.

The other day I was in Hobby Lobster and I happened to walk down an aisle that someone had so sweetly sprayed with their scent. Come on people we aren't dogs, so there is no need to mark your territory. I'm not interested. As I approached the said aisle I happened to take a look at the gal who was leaving it. I kinda shook it off and continued shopping. I had a hard time concentrating, wondering if the odor was coming from her or God forbid was it me? Did I remember to shower? Yes its a reaccurring thing not remembering if I showered or not! So, let me think here. There was coffee, kids on bus, coffee, blogging, coffee and yes a shower. Whew, it's not me! I started my sniffing thinking oh great is there a gas leak or a sewer pipe break? I started walking down the aisle and the gal that I saw leaving before was back. I thought ok, before I search the store and then find the manager I'm gonna wait another minute and see if it was this gal. I was just about to reach for something off the shelf when I hit the floor. It sounded like I was being shot at but miraculously didn't feel any pain. Did I get hit, is there blood? Shocking to say this but the gal fired a machine gun out of her ass and she was where the smell was coming from. Holy Hell, did she really just let one rip? Oh honey, you might need to go and check your pants, I think you might have a present in there?

She happened to notice me crouched on the floor and as I looked up she said, "what?" In that valley girl I'm as dumb as a head of lettuce tone! If it were summer, my mouth would have drawn a whole army of flies it was open so wide! I just looked at her and said, "I know a doctor that can help you with that? Dam do I feel sorry for the person who sleeps with her at night!

Well thank God my comment flew right over her like a stealth fighter plane! I really didn't want to refer my husband or any of his colleagues to tackle her problems!

I was very happy that one of my favorite stores wasn't going to be exploding from a gas leak any time soon, well not a city gas leak that is!

Happy Friday to you all and remember take cover, you never know what you might be hit with!

I'm late as usual!

I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date! Well I like to think of myself as not late but saving the best for last! Ha, ya right seriously not! I'm usually the one who is late and makes that loud noise while trying to be ever so quiet, that everyone in the room turns around at the same time and then I do the courtesy like I am an actress on stage and it was all planned.

Ok, I digress, seriously head on over please to the Holiday Home Linky Party at

Layla of the Lettered Cottage! If you are struggling to find out what to do with your mantle for Christmas, well fret no more. There are like a bajillion ideas and I think it might just take me until Friday to go through them all. I linked up too because I love a good party! This was my mantle last year, dun dun dun dun......

And this is me taking it up a notch! Well I don't know about that, but I wanted to do something a little different this year!

Well what are you doing still hanging around here for? I love it of course, but get outta here and head to Layla's!